Give us this day our daily bandwidth,
And forgive us our connectivity issues,
As we forgive those who disrupt our signal.

Oh no!

Anyway, how’s your weekend been going?

May we all only share and receive kindness.

Well said, @cokeslutgarbage

Wild guess, reading between the lines:

Dad had an extramarital affair. His squeeze got preggers. Dad is suddenly pro-choice.

Mom finds out about the affair and the pregnancy and is now mad at dad.

OP only knows what his parents have shared, intentionally or not.

Don’t forget AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Towing Service

Continually inspired with amazing ideas. But the moment you try to write them down or describe to anyone else, they just fade away.

Like waking up after an amazing dream and trying to remember it long enough to tell anyone else.

You are in for a treat, friend. Watch it when you have the time.

(Galaxy Quest, as the other poster mentioned.)

See also "fell into a hole".

They could call it a "fnorplgleek" for all I care.

Until they figure out how to prevent any and all fnorplgleeks from having the ability to injure, main, or kill another human being when the fnorplgleek operator wishes to harm you unlawfully, they can expend 100% of their thinkbox time figuring out how to do so. Like, pin their wetware CPU to working out a solution. Interconnect them Borg style.

If the response is "well no, not like that" then we recognize that it's a compromise that continues to put victims in front of said fnorplgleek operators.

brb getting a "Down with fnorplgleeks" t-shirt made

One floor should be reserved for running around barefoot on broken glass while bad guys chase after you to keep you from interfering with their elaborate heist.

A fartiste, you might say

I've taken to using a checklist on my phone that I update daily. However, remembering to use it is still a problem at times.

So my B-tier power would be Remembers To Use Checklist At Least Once A Day Man.