Are you going to the USA?
Why would you do that with the current situation?
You can literally die another day, if you're gonna kill yourself then why not do what you want to do and see what tomorrow has to offer. I know I've been there!
I don't envy you for being where you are it sounds shit but walk away.. if you're gonna kill yourself anyway, just walk away.
Easier said than done I know but meh killing yourself leaves no options!
We never wanted to leave it was a shit show even employers sending out emails to their staff how it would benefit them. The whole Scottish independence vote like a year or two before they would have voted otherwise if they knew what was coming. The farmers here in Wales or most of them through their magazines all jumped on the leave band-wagon.. oh no more subsidies to re-wild or planting work. Oh shame about that huh! Literally paid to do nothing.