captainastronaut

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

I feel seen.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Just Nazi Twitter being Nazi Twitter.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It works until they catch you! Just like lots of other crimes.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

The convoluted logic to get from “this is how much money I owe” to “actually, that’s how much they owe ME” is so wild.

[–] [email protected] 125 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

“If you're a Twitter diehard who's not willing to swap to X, it might be finally time to ditch X for Mastadon or Threads. On your way out, don't forget to delete your X account.”

Best advice in the article.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago

That’s a nice way of saying “the kind of censorship that will destroy the internet as we know it”

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s a closed system. That water comes from somewhere. Forcing rain to feed your crops is going to create a drought for someone else.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Also, their shoes are unnecessarily hideous.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

We can only hope.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

This will be fun at thanksgiving!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Anyone who got picked was going to a dangerous step backward.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Absolutely never going to. Even if it’s the only internet left post apocalypse.

 

Bob.

2
A widow is on trial (seattlelunarsociety.org)
 

The recent widow is on trial for beating her guitar-playing husband to death. Seeing she has no record, the judge asks "first offender?"

She says "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

 

Algebros

 

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

 

If you have a longer joke that doesn't fit the format but is still a clean joke, happy to have those here: https://seattlelunarsociety.org/c/momjokes Not trying to advertise, just wanted to help people find a place to land in the Fediverse, and doing my part to host some of it.

Here's that dad joke I promised:

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

spoilerA gummy bear

 

Welcome to (hopefully) your new home! Invite your friends, reddit mods, friendly mobs, villagers... even those creepers! All are welcome.

You should also know about https://lemmy.world/c/oldschoolminecraft if that's your jam.

 

What do you call kids born in a bordello?

Brothel sprouts

27
peek–a-boo accident (seattlelunarsociety.org)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek–a-boo accident?

spoilerTo the ICU.

 

A few hours ago I dropped a piece of ice

It slid under the refrigerator. I was really upset at first but now it's water under the fridge.

(Posted on Reddit years ago by u/drewigi, I just liked it)

 

I just found out Canada isn’t real

Turns out it was all just mapleleaf

 

Babies are born with 4 kidneys.

When they grow up, 2 of them turn into adult knees.

 

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. “Please doctor you’ve got to help me. I’ve been stung by a bee.”

"Don't worry;" says the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it."

"You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

"No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor, "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."

"Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house."

"No, no, no!" says the doctor getting frustrated, "I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you."

"On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts."

"Which one?" the doctor.

"How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!"

Originally posted to Reddit by FancyAlligator

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