Thanks! This mirrors quite some experiences I’ve had over the years indeed. And for what it’s worth, I think the way you’re handling that is not bad at all.
As someone else mentioned in the comments on Mastodon, one of the hardest things about mentoring is articulating the lessons you may not even realize you’ve learned. I don’t think anyone can be blamed for failing to teach or convince someone else, since people are simply too different to be able to teach and convince them all. As you say, you have to pick your battles, and as long as you let your teammates do their work respectfully in their own way, that alone is a great achievement!
I assume you're referring to this blog series: https://medium.com/prospa-technology/emerging-vs-intentional-architecture-385071ae5d75 ? I wasn't aware of it, and it seems to have some insightful observations! There's definitely some overlap, but by the looks of it, I think I will diverge quite a bit with my next post. I think I'm pretty aligned on the "One-Way Decisions" vs "Two-Way Decisions" part. A One-Way decision in my mind would be, which programming language or framework do we use? Do we use REST or GraphQL?
But it doesn't really go into how to deal with Two-Way decisions, apart from saying to trust your developers. And I think it kinda glosses over the part that things that may appear to be Two-Way decisions initially may actually be closer to One-Way decisions if you continue to build on them. So where that blog still focuses quite a bit on the process, I think I want to shift the focus a bit more to the technical side (so far I've mostly laid down the values that inform the technical direction), especially when it comes to Two-Way decisions. I wasn't thinking about covering One-Way decisions much, but rather on how to shape everyday coding to be more in alignment with Post/Emerging architecture so that you can avoid the Two-Way decisions that in retrospect aren't as much of a Two-Way decision as you'd hope.
Hope that makes sense :D