[he/him] I agree with how you talk about making art "real" (well, everything you said, really), and I had the same thought I had while watching the video... I think people might want to use the word relatable instead (like, general society, not you specifically). In the video's case it was her use of "rep" or representing. I think what people might be really looking for in media/art is to relate to others and for validation, but aren't finding the right words for it, and the words might then be used in a different way than originally intended. Like how when watching a show I might feel like a person really "represents" the struggles I've experienced but later on bad behavior makes me question if that person is a good "representative" for my situation. It's harder to do that with "relate".
It also seems really strange to even consider keeping a queer actor from a straight role... They have their entire life before coming out as experience "acting" in that type of role. Maybe that even makes them more qualified than a straight person because they might be much better equipped to define where the line is between themselves and the character.
I dunno if this all makes sense but the video and comments here have lit up a part of my brain that I'm having fun exploring.
The concept of roles being taken by people with the same traits irl was something interesting that I'd never thought about wrt LGBT before (I don't consume much with actors in general). I have an ex who is a wheelchair user and I have my own disabilities, but invisible, so we did a lot of comparing notes on our experiences. She brought up how she believed characters with disabilities should be played by disabled actors and it took me a long time to understand why. This is a great point in the other direction but of course it doesn't translate to the world of visible disabilities. I think it could translate to invisible disabilities since you're not necessarily inherently "out" but I have to give it more thought.
After rereading this and considering I'm not super familiar with hexbear, I feel like I should also note I'm not trying to say LGBT is a disability, just that it's an ethical guideline I've been taught before in one way and has "intersectional ramifications" if that makes sense.