It's a wrong observation based on what you see online. When you see atheists online being explicitely atheist, they have some hot issue with religion at the moment. The vast majority of non-believers are just chill.
I, personally, went through a period during which I had already embraced the "Whatever, they're stupid, but as long as they're not evil I can respect their general existence", then the church I did live next to forced me to move away, and when I protested, they tarnished my name and tacitly threatened several members of my family to receive the same treatment if they raised their voice.
So, honestly? I wish more atheists were angry and combative. Religion is a means of social control, enforcing comformity and protecting the privileges of the in-group and the impunity of the hierarchy. Brainwash kids into being unable to live without faith, so that if they ever try to leave, they'll se their life get torn apart, both mentally and socially. You have just acted in bad faith (as you admitted you just guessed what the intentions of the other person were) as a means to protect your identity, your worldview, rather than sincerely considering the honesty of the other person because you have been abused into interpreting the possibility of reasonable doubt as a threat.
Nothing of this is an attack against you. I just want you to see your attitude will only lead you to continue living in a cloud of fear, hindering your own growth.
So just stick to your own values?
If you won't find ethics in religion, you'll find some by exploring philosophy. If you won't find truth in religion, you'll find some by learning science. If you won't find a purpose without religion, reach out to people who are worthy of sharing a life with, enjoy art, try to make the world a better place. You will find a purpose far truer to you than any preacher could offer.