OfficeMonkey

This is what I get for not defining my acronyms.

... What did I just read? Wow.

The Republicans will obliterate the fillibuster the day they want to, claiming the Democrats are forcing them to.

I'm currently conducting a lot of phone screens for a senior engineer position and I've definitely seen InterviewSort lately.

Warner shelved Acme and instead we get the worst Chris?

Good luck! I hope your baby is healthy.

Things that really worked for me/us:

1. Every baby is different and people who've written books aren't always right.
2. Happiest Baby on the Block was the one that worked the best for us, but you can get by with the video ratcher than reading the book (Swaddle, Shake (but do it gently), Shhh... And it's been a decade, damnit, I can't remember).
3. Give yourself (and your partner) grace. You're human and will be tired. Just know you're both doing your best.
4. C-section? If you can afford it, stay in a hotel for the first few nights. Room service, maid service, and your partner only has to stumble a few feet to get to the loo. (our bathroom at the time was on a different floor than the bedroom!)
5. Check things early: crib, car seat, pacifier (we did one that had a stuffed animal attached, they were great), white noise machine, bassinet, wow thinking about this reminds me how expensive it is...
6. WHATEVER THE PREGNANT PERSON WANTS. I got NO ice cream or milk shakes but got a TON of salads from Subway consisting mostly of banana peppers. Not worth the fight.
7. As someone else said, just do stuff. Don't wait to be asked. Change the diaper, feed or help with feeding, dress the kiddo, snuggle the baby.
8. Baby breath smells good.
9. Kids become interactive really fast, and they won't remember a bit of it, but they're generally adorable.
10. Burp cloths.
11. If you haven't changed a diaper yet, it's a thing to learn. I changed my first diaper about a month before my kid was born, and still almost got it wrong.
12. If your child is going to be penis-possessing at birth: yes, you should cover their penis every time you change their diaper. Their range if uncovered is measured IN YARDS.
13. Hat. Baby heads get cold.
14. Do nice things for partner and not just baby.
15. Every baby is different and what worked for me won't necessarily work for you.

Good luck!

I knew I was excluded and was generally okay with it... Until the kid was about four months old. Family went out to dinner. We were having a good time, baby needed changing, I grabbed him and MY diaper bag (yes, I had my own). I went to the restroom and discovered the only changing table was in the women's room.

I knocked, said hello, and went in. The only woman (teenager? College student? Younger than me, at least) who came in while I was changing the baby was polite and even offered her help.

But this US chain restaurant didn't even consider the possibility that someone other than a woman would change a baby. Come on.

Oh, did you mean Brock "The Rapist" Turner? I heard he raped an unconscious woman because he's a terrible human being and also a rapist.

I watched the first goal, then had to step away. I came back, and it was 3-0.

I took off my sweater in case I was the source of the bad luck, but it isn't helping.

I pointed out to my partner that judging by the Grammys, God (WTF autocorrect why was that capitalized??) is really busy with people getting awards and doesn't have time for pesky things like violence and privation.

Clearly it's a Flatypus.

Bad news. With inflation, it's not going to be twenty five years for the back half.