Menelatency

joined 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not advocating being a “narc”.

I’m advocating not telling the kid you will keep it a secret from the parents (one of which is your sibling) in the first place. I’m advocating being chill about it. Take the vape away but don’t get hysterical about it. Give the vape and the info to the people who are responsible to make the decisions for their minor child. State only once your position. (e.g. no vaping or breaking the law on my watch and consequences are x). What if she was your neighbor’s child? Would you take the same approach? Is it right to not take the same approach? All questions you must answer for yourself to match your morals and ethical code.

Lots of hard decisions here and we don’t have the benefit of knowing why they were made.

  1. Underage kid decides to illegally use a vape pen. Use under age 21 in most states is a crime. Use under 18 is the lowest state limit. 14 is well below both. A crime has been committed. Sure, it’s a “small” one and “victimless” (not really - kid is victim, real criminal (provider of said vape to child) goes unpunished)

https://www.vapingcricket.com/legal-age-to-vape/

  1. Said kid decides to do it in your home possibly subjecting you to aiding/abetting or contributing to delinquency of minor charges if it ever gets to law enforcement.

  2. You choose to withhold this information from law enforcement. I might as well but means vape provider goes unpunished. (Compounds your risk if this goes sideways later. Still, handle it in the family if you can. It’s a “victimless” crime.)

  3. You choose to withhold this information from the parents of the child. You are deciding your judgement is superior to theirs. Perhaps you have your reasons, but you are cutting them out and this may go poorly for all if it comes out later. (“But mom/dad! Uncle OP just let me off with losing the vape last time! I hate you!” Ooooops)

  4. You have chosen to seize the illicit property from the child and dispose of it yourself. So kid learns that you will allow them to get away with things relatively unscathed and tell no one.

  5. Effectively no punishment/repercussions so hopefully kid needs little guidance to get back “on the right path”. Again, deciding your judgement is superior to her parents.

I would handle this differently, but I’m not there so just trying to share my opinion and maybe sway others to a better decision in future as OP’s has already been made and would be very unpleasant to undo now.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If you knew my adult child you’d know I did just fine. Not perfect, but more than sufficient.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (2 children)

My kid knows all these things but also knows if they fuck up they will have to own it and if they break the law we’re not going to make it go away for them. We will support them to the end of the world but that doesn’t mean they get out of trouble with no consequences. All this “be their friend” and “be the cool parent” BS just leads to kids who refuse to take responsibility for their misdeeds and give up at the first sign of resistance.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

There’s every reason to believe that. Perhaps not true in tiny minority of cases, but in western culture, in general, this is considered responsible parenting/adulting.

OP is free to make the decision they think is right. I am free to suggest an alternative course. You are free to point out the corner case that may apply.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (23 children)

Stop being her friend and be an adult. Give the vape pen to her mom and explain the circumstances and let mom decide what, if anything, to do. At 14 she has no business vaping and you might just save her long term lung damage.

 

Background:
I have set up Simply-Automated UPB switches throughout my house. I love them and think they’re amazingly powerful. But I’m having some reliability issues with them now (@10yrs old). I use HomeKit. Never Alexa nor Google. I integrate them using Home Assistant but that integration forces them to be treated as lights, not switches which does odd things. Looks like <30 people are using that integration so I’m a bit worried support will fade especially since it seems like the company making the switches has folded when the owner died. Also, the supposed great UPB power line based communication is less than 100% so fails wife approval. I have an IT background and am handy with tools and electrical. These switches are nearly perfect if only they were a bit more reliable, easy to connect to HK, and still on the market/vendor supported.

Existing switches can be configured with single tap on/off, press and hold to fade up/down, built-in timer to control fade speed or auto-off after a time, double tap to control another switch or trigger a scene with an on/off argument (which confuses the hell out of automation hubs that don’t allow for scenes to have an “off”).

Basic switch: http://www.simply-automated.com/products/items/US11-40_single_rocker_dimmer_controller.php
Dual load controller: http://www.simply-automated.com/products/items/US22-40_deluxe_dual_circuit_base.php

Question:
Looking for a set of wired, load controlling smart-switches that integrate readily w/HomeKit to replace the UPB ones. They should have no requirement for a specialized installer (DIY-able at least if not DIY-friendly). They should support on, off, fade/dim up/down, and double tap on/off or similar approach to allow limited scene control from the switch without requiring a dedicated scene controller device. Bonus is configurable dim rates, guide light behavior/color, double load controls (with doubled paddles), switch able to be separated from wired load and just trigger scenes.

I like the Lutron Caseta Pico remotes, but looks like the Diva/Claro switches are a lot less capable (just on/off/dim and remote control) and I don’t want to have to put up a bunch of extra Picos to replace what was built into the prior switch tech. Or am I missing something?

Current double-tap use cases:
Double-down in master-bath: fires a scene giving time to get into bed while the lights are still on.

Double-tap down(off) in other areas does a similar scene as appropriate for that area.

Double-tap up(on) triggers certain arrival type scenes.

Currently use different colors on the guide lights to indicate if light (green) or fan (blue). Light on means load is off, light off means load is on. Shades of Harry Potter (the switch catches and releases the light from the bulb). Kids loved it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

You don’t need to actually turn “off” the Apple TV(ATV), just the Panasonic Viera. Doubly so if the ATV-Viera connection is over an ARC HDMI link.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

What about this from Leviton? Just happened to see it because I’m always crossing up Lutron and Leviton.

https://www.leviton.com/en/products/d2msd-1bw