ButtholeSpiders

I’m already gassy, the beans might make you regretful.

I think they allowed crying at birth as an acceptance of the contract, then they take your foot print.

Guillotines

As a Klingon, this feels like an acceptable answer.

I second this, and report back OP.

Sure. But, to be fair, most if not all are currently huge flaming clown cars heading towards an ecological cliff. ¯\(ツ)/¯

Found the best answer is telling them you can’t afford it anymore, followed by telling them everything negative about your life in a lifeless tone. After a while, they’ll do anything to get you off the phone.

Thanks fucker, that was helpful. 👍

And now this tune is stuck in my head before bed lol

I know the feeling, most think I’m lonely but it’s the complete opposite.