this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
571 points (98.1% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Craved, obviously: it would be a bit embarassing and uncomfortable, but at least I would not be harming it

[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

If you're gonna have to pick between two shitty situations (pun intended) then you might as well choose the less harmful one.

Who knows? Maybe you have an undiscovered kink.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

With a bidet attachment so it can slurp every last bit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What if it evolves a tongue and licks your asshole? Atleast if it hates it, it can evolve some safety mechanism like a fake poop pipe/mouth, or stomach acid idk.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

The tongue would be a bonus. I am too shy to ask for a rimjob, so this works out great actually.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

If the toilet is sentient, there should be consent on all parties included.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Better to be loved than hated?

[–] [email protected] 52 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

Toilet: YES! YES! S H I T. IN. MY. M O U T H.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Oh hell yeah. I had forgotten about this scene. Odenkirk nails it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I need an adult after watching that

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Relevant

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Take that you porcelain slut

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

shit in my mouth! Cause thats some real love

https://piped.video/watch?v=NvEOwY27gW8&t=1

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Would it try to wake me up at 6am because it's hungry, like my cat does? Would the sounds be cute or not? If cute, let it crave!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Allen Pan keeps asking this question on the Safety Third podcast and it's hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I mean, it would be hilarious if your toilets hated you by calling you names every time you go take a dump.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

more importantly: which celebrity voice should it have while being like this? gilbert gottfried? samuel jackson? mike tyson? fran drescher? bill burr? sam kineson? paris hilton?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I like to cry on the toilet so I choose Hope Sandoval from Mazzy Star.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Bob Ross 💀

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Devito as Frank

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Peeing while erect every day would be pretty difficult

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago
[–] PM_ME_FEET_PICS 1 points 9 months ago

I bought one of those fancy Japanese toilets and it opens the lid as soon as it sees me. It craves my waste, lid up like an open mouth. When you sit on it, it begins to wet the inside of the bowl, like it's salivating.