My current experience with synapse is that as a single user on my matrix server i somehow managed to have spent the entire 120 gigabytes worth of ssd i dedicated to the service.
I am really not interested in the cat gif from 5 years ago as you say. A retention of 1 week on 99% of the channels I'm in would be overkill. Private messages would realistically not be more than perhaps a few hundred megabytes (besides the media) if ever that much.
I was desperately hoping to consolidate all my messaging services under one client but it doesn't seem like a reasonable ask from the Synapse+Element combo.