this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I was a heroin addict and only jerked off like once a month for years (i.e. whenever I could get my hands on a couple adderall, i’d get my hands on something else). Now i’m clean and exercising and gaining weight and trying to be a human again, and I kinda started jerking off a bit more and I’ve realized just like with eating — the more I eat the more I feel the need to eat— the more I jerk it the more I find myself wanting to jerk it. Now I feel I’ve opened a degenerate can of worms.

I kind of liked not being a slave to my monke brain… except then I was a slave to my junke brain. Someone just teach me how to live.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I love masturbating. I think everyone should do it once a day.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago

Ok Ariane Grande 👍🏼

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It has been shown than regular masturbation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

So, everyone reading this comment, please masturbate regularly for your own health.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I heard it activates your immune system too. Which explains why I've only been sick once in like 4 years.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Less serious vices >>>>>> serious vices. You're not hurting anyone. If you really want help I'd suggest professional addiction therapists or something

Imo it's not a problem unless it routinely gets in the way of your goals or lifestyle.

[–] funkless_eck 12 points 1 year ago

I wish you all the best and hope you're doing better now, and I mean this with respect but it's pretty fucking funny that the answer to "hmm maybe I jerk off too much" is "do horse"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXIK1xCRpY

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If only it were a piped link

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is. You can change the text of the link by using [text here](link here)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh god, why does it do that, making the link text be a different valid link is very misleading

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It takes the displayed text of whatever the link was (in this case a web address, further down is a comment with "of this" as the link text) and uses that as the piped link display text. Misleading, yes, but it's due to an understandable issue. Maybe this should be a suggested change.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I never thought I’d die like this, but is always sort of hoped!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You made me think of this.

Fuck you, OP, I love you, go fuckin' masturbate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

of this.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Jokes on you, i'm too depressed to be horny.

[–] lastunusedusername2 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The secret ingredient... is "love"?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You've named your hand "Love"?

"Allright, Love, time to exercise"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Those are rookie numbers

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Say hello to crippling porn addiction