this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2023
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Seriously, this shit doesnt happen to any of my other trans fem friends who generally present a lot more fem than me.

In the last 3 months I've had 3 instances of me minding my own business (riding transit / smoking outside a concert venue) and some fucker will just come up and start shit.

The other night someone came up to me and started yelling like a Fox News reporter like "ARE YOU A MAN OR A WOMAN, ARE YOU A MAN OR A WOMAN, DONT YOU PEOPLE GO IN SCHOOLS AND [REDACTED HORRIBLE THINGS TO KIDS]

I don't fucking get it, because I generally present pretty "butch" and at a base level don't really look like someone you'd want to fight. I'm not saying I'm a big tough badass, but out of all my trans friends I definitely look like the most likely to whoop your ass. And also when I've been swung on, I've won all the fights, but not in a cool way where I feel good...I just wish I was never in that situation to begin with stalin-bummed

Another thing that fucks me up is it's great that I can defend myself - but if it wasn't me, and it was someone smaller or more passive, how far would it have gone? Would one of my sisters have been curbstomped? I fucking hate that so much.

A few theories posited by my friends

  1. Beating up someone in a dress / dressed fem isnt really badass no matter what so it happens less (but obviously still happens). So maybe presenting more butch makes you more "fightable"?

  2. I simply go out more; I take transit 3-4x a day, I travel up and down my city every day, on weekends I'll generally have a big night out at least once

  3. I'm androgynous in a weird way where people don't really understand what I'm going for (most of my trans friends are very binary presenting) and it's threatening / confusing / provokes harassment

I honestly don't fucking get it. I'm sure there isn't a magic answer. Just venting I guess.

tl;dr im hot and strong, people dont like it

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