Hello, my name is Doug and I’m addicted to Farm Merge Valley.
this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Am I the only one who jumped to the App Store to download “Farm Merge Valley” only to find nothing named that, while simultaneously realizing it was a joke?
Actually it does exist; it’s on Facebook and— how I and my friends discovered it— Discord, under Activities.
It’s actually kind of nice to just chill and play the stupid game while waiting for friends to join lobbies or between matches or if someone doesn’t really feel like playing but still wants to chat.
It’s also not my first Freemium rodeo (that would be Clash of Clans, and Simpsons Tapped Out, which I stopped playing eons ago), so I’m kind of more aware/mindful of how it’s trying to hook me with a wall to pay to go beyond, but instead of paying I’m just like “oh! that’s all I can do for now. Cool. Closing the game/time to go do something else!”
Hi Doug!
She's just after your money, you made a huge mistake.
Eww, just look at the "game" on the phone.. yuck.
Goddamn it, here I was thinking the person was playing good old classic Bejewelled.. I should've known better than to think my childhood games would be relevant
Anyone else remember Puzzle Quest? I had it on the DS, and later on the 360.
Ooh - looks like there's a mobile Puzzle Quest 3, but it also is flagged as having IAPs, so I'm guessing it's another cash-grab match-3 bullshit game.
This is one I'm happy I can't relate to. I was kinda over Bejeweled clones after Windows...3. Oof.
I found a free port of Civilization (unciv) on the phone and immediately lost like 3 hours. That shit is dangerous. There are better phone games, but there's certainly a lot of slop.
That's cool for sure. Homebrew and emulators aren't part of the gross mobile entertainment ecosystem however, at least IMO.
Obviously emulating Ocarina of Time on your phone is based. Especially since Nintendo earns nothing from doing so.
Absolutely. I've replayed Picross 3D and the sequel like fives times over each by now via mobile emu.
The android port of Rollercoaster Tycoon is awesome. I play that while on my way to work and back.
Slay the Spire is on mobile.
I like how the artist made the controller read as female by slightly moving the d-pad and buttons to look like little bows.
The joystick eyes lend a very creepy Other Mother vibe to the controller.
But where is the sexy supermodel steamdeck hiding?
They get their own apartment as chief mistress
Consider the following: rooting
Filthy casual!
Evidence of human beings will just fuck anything lying close. Doesn't need to be sexy. Doesn't need to be horny. Just be together and fucks start naturally.
Not an issue with my PS5 controller, since I use it with everything.
If you can finger one without it drifting off.
At least it's not as bad as joycon or the Switch Pro controller!
Both my dualsense controllers are about 3 years old, and get used daily. No problems.
When I had a Switch, I had replaced my joycons 3 times in less than a year due to drift I could not remedy by simply cleaning them. The Pro controller never had any problems. I still have it, too, I just haven't used it since getting the PS5 since the DualSense controllers are better.
My joycon both got pretty bad drift after a year or so. I just don't use them. My Pro controller got it after about the same amount of time, and I was able to fix it by opening it up and cleaning it periodically, but eventually it stopped fixing the problem. I just use my PS5 controller for it now.
Those controller-eyes are giving Steel Inquisitor
It me