this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2023
568 points (95.4% liked)

Memes

45772 readers
1254 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Lmao i love how we already have lemmy lore

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Another Lemmy meta moment was when someone asked whether bathing was environmentally friendly. To be clear, I think it's a perfectly legitimate question worth our attention, but I also found it kinda funny. That's why I made a meme of it. Here it is: https://lemmy.ml/post/75282

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hahaha fr its starting to feel like home.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Reddit had narwhals and midnight, we have strict dietary guidelines.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What in the world did I miss

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

Someone yesterday posted a question: Will be in a confined place for 3 days, cannot poop in that time, and will have to limit urination. What can I eat that won't make me poop/will inhibit pooping, would be great if the food reduced sweating too. Don't ask why.

Edit: found it!

https://kbin.social/m/[email protected]/t/78689/I-need-to-survive-for-3-days-without-pooping-and

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing yet. But in two more days, something hot is going to drop.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

If you strain hard enough, you can practically smell it already.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Someone posted earlier asking for the best means to not poop (and other requirements) for three days. Welcome to the next front page of the internet!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I like the alliteration of Lemmy lore.

[–] jballs 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

One time me and my girlfriend (now wife) went to visit my grandparents at their winter home in Texas. I say home, but it was just their RV that they drove down in the winter to avoid the snow. Anyway, It didn't want to blow up the RV with a huge steamy log, so I held it in for a few days. On the night of the 4th day, we ended up going to a swimming pool. While changing into my swimsuit in the locker room, I realized they had nice toilets there and it would be a good opportunity to unload.

I don't know what I was expecting, but for some reason I wasn't planning on 4 days worth of shit coming out at once. Not like soft, mushy turds, but one big strong firm log that just kind of piled up in the bowl like a shit pile pyramid.

I tried to give it a courtesy flush before I wiped, as is my custom, but that puppy was too big to go down. Seeing it was in a public toilet, it's not like I had a plunger or anything. I tried flushing a few more times, but the water was getting dangerously high in the bowl and I didn't want to deal with a turd water tsunami. So I had no choice but to leave it and duckwalk over to another stall where I could wipe my asshole before fleeing the scene.

So yeah. I guess my apologies to whoever had to eventually deal with that at the Brownsville Texas RV park circa 2005.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Brownsville Texas

Apt I guess

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lovely! Lemmings united by pooping stories! The moment we all are most vulnerable at.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Who's hyped for no poop July?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I want to go back to Reddit now

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Lemmy's collective 2.9 day turtle head poking out is gonna be epic

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Congratulations, guys. This is officially Lemmy lore.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

where were you when the first ones spoke of the poop challenge

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One time I was at a camp in 7th grade for a week (a religious Christian camp) where my friend and I were NOT religious, so we were being bullied. I was so deathly afraid of getting bullied while taking a shit that I didn't poop until the 6th day. I honestly barely remember it but I snuck out in the night just to take a shit, and it was absolutely horrendous. Pretty sure it felt like trying to pass a big old hard fruit or something, it was the worst and took forever. 2/10 Do not recommend.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

That's the worst part about being constipated. Like it should be instant needed relief, but its just a trickle and not a torrent.

[–] DoubleVV 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hate turc style toilets. And as a son of Moroccan immigrant we always went to Morocco 2 months a year. We were alternating between my grandmother's house (with turc style toilets) and our house (Western style toilets) every 3 or 4 days. I've always tried my best to take a dump in our house. But for some reason we once stayed at my grandmother's house for like 10 days. It was horrible to live through. I made the trip back to our house just to unload myself. A fricking log came out. Very very painful. As I was losing weight, I stopped in the middle of it because I felt different kind of pain. I was fricking bleeding. So I finished very painfully and I took my time to not do more damage. It was still hurting avec a week. TL;DR : I bled from my anus because I'm afraid of turc style toilets.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (5 children)

i unironically shit like once a week, maybe two times a week max. so i don't understand what the fuss is all about

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Despite what the other comments say, this can be perfectly acceptable if this is has always been usual for you.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Poiar 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should really consider paying your doctor a visit dude

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Sounds like you need fiber

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pop some opioids, gets you to day 2 with ease.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

EEEAAASY. I am pretty sure I have gone weeks when I was at my worst lol.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

my bunghole, it hurt

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I still need to know the details on this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That's a followup parody I believe. The original was a post asking how not to poop at all for 3 days.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you know pooping is actually illegal in Montana on Tuesdays?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's true. I've reported so many to the secret poop police. They're always laughing at first like it's not serious, up until they break down the bathroom door. Not so funny in a Montana gulag, is it?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Very err high pressure situation there bob

[–] Gentoo1337 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The what

Ooh, it's about the asklemmy guy, lmaoo

load more comments
view more: next ›