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There is "ELO" in these dating apps,
Swiping a lot at a low success rate makes your elo drop and you appear less in general, and if you do appear it'll probably be to another low elo person.
I don't like dating apps but if I had to advise, delete and remake the account to be "fresh" elo with no history and say no atleast 90% of the time. With the 10% being what you think is a decent shot.
Same, but for jobs.
They get more out of you if you don't find a date.
I'm sure you're a super sexy guy bro, dick up N chin up!
Tinder is a hellhole intentionally designed to keep people lonely and depressed so they'll pay up for the "gold" features. The gender split is well past 80/20 male/female so good luck with straight matches, and the number of bots they leave up to waste your swipes is incredibly high, so even that ratio is probably worse.
Few years back I was on 5 dating sites, knocked it out the park on three of them. Got maybe 2 dates from Tinder and 1 from eHarmony (who I married!) Tinder was the first one I dropped, but they somehow fucked me out of an extra month or two.
Fuck the Capitalist commodification of love.
Drop the dating apps & muster up the patience go do things & meet people irl instead.
I don't think I've ever met someone organically and then dated them
They say workplace relationships don't work and they're probably right, but the problem is that's the only place you ever meet anyone these days.
This is how you find out your profile’s bad.
I don’t know how applicable this is to this persons specifically, but here’s some general advice from someone who’s been on both sides (I’m trans), and got a high amount of matches either way.
Every woman I’ve spoken to about Tinder agrees :
Men overwhelmingly have profiles with little to no info in their bio (most often copy-pasted jokes, extremely generic facts like “I like food and music”…)
And poorly taken and/or cringe photos (posing with their car, half drunk with half a dozen other people, making a weird face, showing off nonexistent gains…)
If you want more matches, you need good pictures (not blurry, not from far away, not backlit) that stand out from the rest (especially, no one cares about your car. An expensive car is a huge douchebag redflag), and a bio that actually says something about your hobbies, world view, etc.
So, in summary, two steps :
It's been a minute, but it was an automatic "no" when someone would answer "what are 5 things you can't live without" were stuff like food, water, and air. Yes, I know that. Tell me about yourself!
It was almost always men that answered that way.
I know I'm incredibly dull. I'm average looking. I was a single parent. A decent picture and a little about myself and I did alright though, even with the ladies.
I have bad news: lots of non-men also post useless stuff like "I can't live without water lol" or "what are you looking for: my keys lmfao"
Having a good profile is a skill, probably related to marketing, and some people have neither natural aptitude nor training in it.
He must be doing something drastically wrong for not even the ThotBots to be matching with him.
the ThotBots
Are those the matches that only want to talk about World of Warcraft?
You assume people are actually getting to see your profile. There are no stats of that available though.
In 2014 I tried an experiment. I let my profile run for two months. First couple of weeks I used a standard headshot type picture. Nothing. Then I switched to a picture of me playing the guitar. A couple of hits. Finally I switched to a picture of me wearing headphones and fiddling with my old sequencer. Tons of hits.
If you can't hit them with good looks (I'm not handsome) then at least use an interesting photo that tells a story and showcases an unusual or unique thing about you in a positive light.
Back when we were a real civilization, we didn't try to find matches by looking at someone's photograph, we would have considered that creepy and stupid.
Why are so many people doing an act that is objectively creepy, stupid and most users hate the entire experience? I haven't met a single fucking person who enjoys tinder or online matchmaking in general. None. Not men, not women.
GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE. (edit: and talk to people. I can't believe I have to add this detail, you cannot just literally walk around outdoors and expect something to happen, I'm just saying get off the internet, stop fucking scrolling and reading other people's thoughts, it's not helping you, strike up conversations and learn to get over yourself. You're alone because your head is rammed so far up your own ass you can't breath. DO NOT GO HIT ON RANDOM PEOPLE YOU DUMB FUCKS, SERIOUSLY "GO OUTSIDE" IS A METAPHOR FOR GETTING A REAL LIFE OFF THE INTERNET.)
This is distorting all your perceptions of what "attractive" even means. Last schlub I saw whining about this was just a normal-ass dude like my neighbor who has a wife and kids. All this talk about "attractiveness" makes no consideration for how humans actually feel about each other when they get to know each other.
"But it's not that simple! The rest of the world is changed! You can't just go talk to people! This is a oversimplification of a complex problem! REEEE!"
Bull. Shit. You tried like once or twice and people didn't warm up to you and you felt ashamed. Or some dumb teenager broke your heart. That experience was supposed to teach you to try a different way, not teach you to give up. Shame is useless, it's often a sign of having your head too far up your own ass. There are billions of people on Earth living the way we've lived for literal centuries. If you met some people you don't match with, try several more. Even if you meet a million people, you're still meeting 0.0125% percent of the population. Seriously, make EFFORT.
You are not a victim in this. Shed that automatic reflex to lash out at anyone who makes you feel accountability and you just might make it.
Why are so many people doing an act that is objectively creepy, stupid and most users hate the entire experience?
The death of third places.
That's part of it, but missing third places are as much a symptom as a cause.
Because tell me, if you walked outside and your neighborhood was restructured and there were bars and a riverwalk and cafes and old dudes with funny hats painting scenes, would that actually help the huge swath of people who have never grown up in places where you go outside and know everyone?
Third places are more than places they're community connection areas, and yah it can certainly help if the physical locations are there, but the big ingredient that makes it work is that people who live around these places have a history already of going out to meet friends, coworkers, family, casual acquaintances you value the opinion of, and so on. You never ran down to Horace's shop when you were 9 years old with a $5 to buy milk for your mom, and it was okay because you knew Horace, everyone in the area knows each other, and people looked out for each other.
We're missing some deeply fundamental things in the modern world, particularly in the USA and dense urban areas. A huge one is learning to just talk to other people without shame or fear... a LOT of our space and life would become designed around this kind of life if we actually valued it. We are falling for the comfort trappings of suburban/apartment hell where you can see any virtual world from your flat screen and VR goggles and talk to an AI who will order you dinner without having to talk to anyone.
Back when we were a real civilization, we didn’t try to find matches by looking at someone’s photograph, we would have considered that creepy and stupid.
My parents met by getting introduced to each other in what's effectively an arranged marriage. Well, technically, it was not forced per se, but the village elders and/or their parents pressured it, they show photos, then they were pressured to agree to an arranged meeting, y'all talk to each other. The elders verify your 时辰八字 (some astrology stuff) to verify "compatibility". Then if y'all like each other, the marriage happens. From what my mother told me, they could refuse, but then their parents / village elders just keep trying to find a new partner for you. Marriage is an expectation. 🤷♂️
This was like 1990's, Guangdong Province, People's Republic of China.
My parents are still trying to do arranged arranged marriage for my older brother (we live in the USA now) because my mother is afraid he wouldn't find a spouse. He doesn't seem to care about marriage either.
As for how my parents relationships are, I don't think they really "love" each other, they kinda just put up with each other "for the kids". When they do get in arguments, it can be quite terrifying, especially when I was still in K-12 school.
There's like this expectation for you to get married early and have kids. (My older brother is many years older then me, and he's is approaching 30 years old)
My reaction to this shit, is: I don't wanna get married lol. I hate the idea of living with another human being. I never have any desires for romantic relationships. I wanna live and die alone. (And especially, fuck arranged marriages, ain't doing that shit, rather be single than miserable. Not having one of the most important choices be dictated by parents.)
(Btw, I'm not even supposed to be born. My mother disobeyed the One Child Policy and gave birth to me)
I've gotten plenty of matches; but that's as far as I've ever gotten with Tinder. Nobody has ever messaged me or replied to my messages once we match. :/
I'm not on tinder, so I can't match you. But I replied to your message! #solidarity
I wouldn't make that conclusion, but it does seem clear that Tinder is a waste of your time.