As a good virtue ethicist I walk away from the lever and live my virtuous life

Probably by trying to beat up Persians. Or some other city state. Or slaves. You know, virtuously

I love the trend of making trolley memes more and more obstruse.

I fight the universe with the universe. I pull out a 20 sided die. 10 or under I pull the lever. I place all blame or credit upon what the die says.

Ez. I put myself into a box with the track lever and a bomb. The bomb is activated by an XOR gate with one input being 50% chance activated if the lever is pulled, and the other input is attached to an uncollaped wave function with a 50% chance of being measured or not.

This allows the lever, bomb, and myself to enter an undefined state beyond life and death, beyond position and momentum, to become the transitionary flow between something and nothing.

While nobody is watching, the box is equally likely to be inside the quantum trolley, and on the tracks, and on the side as an observer, at the same time.

All my separate possibility wavefunctions then may or may not pull the lever at the exact moment the quantum trolley hits a quantum eraser.

If performed correctly, the collective consciousness of the universe experiences what us humans would refer to as a aneurysm followed by violent seizures.

Finally, this neuroplastic wound bootstraps a emergency regenerative attempt to repair such devastating damage to the concept of causality.

A catastrophic explosion of tachyons froth at the epicenter of the incident. They act like antibodies fighting a virus, cascading into a a level-4∆ Retroactive Timeline Recalibration Event(RTRE-4∆)

Boom, The quantum trolley never even existed in the first place.

Q.E.D

taps forehead

I do nothing. I went through QM classes in my Chemistry times and I still don't get it. If I do nothing at least nobody can blame me for fucking everything up.

this is what living in 2025 feels like

Can I do multi-slit drifting?

By the time I'm done analyzing the situation and determine the best outcome, the sun had already burnt out.

Observe

I put the lever in the box with the cat, smeared with tuna, which also release the poison.

I run towards one of the slits and cover it with my body.
The trolley now behaves like a normal trolley made out of particles.
It instantly grinds to a halt since there are no rails on its side of the barrier.

is it too late for me to "teknikally - at trains de Broglie wavelength, the decoherence length is probably of the order of size of proton or maybe even less, so actually, the system became deterministic, pretty much as soon as trains started moving, and our lever pulling can only change the results between the (no certain death) and (certain death), and expectatition value of death is now just classical addition of probablities of these added (and not the wave additions) and so, non of the interpretations are required"

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