Trans

If I ever have a week that isn't all over the fucking place, I think I'll either have died or been institutionalised.

Been organising a local rally for trans rights, it's been good meeting other queer activists and being able to put my connections to use. I'm pretty excited to see it all come together and hopefully we can announce it soon.

Still finding my dosage of ADHD meds, but noticing small improvements which has been nice. First few weeks made me feel like I was going completely insane, I completely lost control over anything I was doing and spent almost every hour of the day playing guitar, despite the pain, hunger and people who needed me. Thankfully I'm past that.

Got court in a couple of weeks, they're forcing us to go in person for literally no reason. I'll have to spend several hundred dollars on travel and accommodation just to be there while our amazing legal team asks for another adjournment. Stressing me out a lot and I hate feeling like a burden for the overworked lawyers.

Tired. Stressed. A little impatient. A bit angry.

Disgusted at the behavior/opinions of some of the people in my workplace (latest ~~circlejerk~~ "watercooler talk" was 10 feet away from my desk and included such topics as how funny those drone bombing videos are).

Had the lovely thought on my way home today that the "5 bullets about your week" emails (which is apparently to become a weekly occurrence) is going to be an excuse to fire people when the next government shutdown/furlough begins. "Oops, you didnt respond while you weren't allowed to use your government email! Oh, you responded? Fired for illegal use of government email while furloughed".

Just wanted to try and get my mental health together (high likelihood of ADHD, psychiatrist who referred me to a psychologist thougbt so too), soonest psychologist appointment for ADHD diagnosis was mid April. Just want to get my shit together, look for a new job, and GTFO (state, country, whatever). Paranoid AF, don't feel safe to explore myself in any capacity where I am (both at work and the state i live in, frankly the entire continent of north america).

I hit part of my saving goal for further medical transition!!!

Well, I finally came out to my spouse after a decade feeling trapped. The support I received was more than I could have ever hoped for from them! And this community seems pretty fantastic. So for once in what feels like forever, this one was a good week. There's always hope and someone who will love you for who you are. You just have to find them! ;{

So after seeing it recommended I've been reading "The Mimosa Confessions" and I agree, it's very sensitively written. Although it suffers a bit from the "and then they passed, flawlessly, and with perfect fashion sense" trope which gave me some serious gender envy.

Over the winter I've mostly been going with a "lesbian tomboy" aesthetic, and it's been making me a bit uncomfortable recently. Inspired by the story I put together all my girliest stuff into an outfit for the weekend and it was great! I don't feel like a man in a dress any more. Still have no idea what I'm doing fashion-wise, but I'm definitely going to push the boundaries a bit more for spring.

Probably about time to get the ball rolling on SRS too, given how long waiting lists and preparation can take.

Oh, and I've been trying out atomoxetine for ADHD. Doesn't seem to be doing much for me yet, but at least it's not tanking my blood pressure like guanfacine. Only a few registered physicians are allowed to prescribe methylphenidate here.

well we cored our only E vial so... about that good