this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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Bisexual

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This is a community for bisexuals, their allies, friends, family, anyone curious about us or our community, or just people who want to hang out.

Bisexual means different things to different people, and I'm not going to tell you what it should mean to you. But one thing I will say is that being bisexual does NOT mean being trans-exclusionary. We love no matter what dingles, dongles, or dangles you do or do not have in your pants.

Of course, there are the basic rules. No hate speech, no brigading, no doxing, no homophobia, no transphobia, no sexism, no racism, no illegal material. Rules will be added as needed.

At the moment, we do not have a hard and fast rule over NSFW images or posts, but I will say that this is a community about bisexuality, not for porn. Please don't make me ban NSFW content altogether.

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Hi, I wanted to share a personal experience I've had with my roommate and close friend, to see if anyone else has been through something similar or has advice on how to handle this situation.

It all started in 2023, when I entered college. My friend (let's call him "Alex") and I became roommates from freshman year. Alex is bisexual, although I didn't know that at the time. We got along really well from the start, and living together was pretty normal. Back then, I had a girlfriend, and Alex always gave us space when we needed privacy in the room.

My girlfriend and I broke up. After that, the dynamic between Alex and I changed. We spent a lot of time together in the room, and over time we became more comfortable with our intimacy. There were a couple of times when we caught each other masturbating, but instead of it being awkward, we talked about it and normalized it. By the end of 2023, we were already so comfortable that we could stand in our underwear in front of each other and even change clothes without any problems.

In 2024, things took a more intense turn. One night, after a tiring day of studying, we decided to smoke weed. It was my first time doing it, although Alex was already experienced. We were watching an episode of Game of Thrones when suddenly, we ended up watching porn together. We started masturbating at the same time, and at one point, Alex touched me and I touched him. He ended up masturbating me until I came. The next day, we talked about it and we both agreed that it wasn't awkward, although it was a little weird.

After that, we started watching porn together more often, but without touching each other. However, our senior year of college, we decided to become roommates again. During that year, the dynamic intensified. We started masturbating each other from time to time, and while it was sporadic at first, it eventually became more frequent.

After graduating, we decided to continue living together to save on rent. That year, Alex confessed to me that he was bisexual, although he clarified that he was not attracted to me. At the time, I felt a little rejected, I don't know why, but we talked about it and got over it.

We decided to do adult content together again, but this time more explicit. We recorded videos of each other masturbating, and on one occasion, Alex gave me a blowjob. While I enjoyed the experience, I still don't consider myself gay or bisexual. I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction towards men in general, or Alex in particular. He's also made it clear that he's not attracted to me, and we've both set clear boundaries in our relationship.

Now, in 2025, we still live together and occasionally make content together, but always respecting our boundaries. However, Alex recently made me a proposition that has me thinking. He told me that we could do anal penetration content, and that he'd be willing to have me fuck him. For me, that's already a boundary I'm not sure I want to cross. While I enjoy the dynamic we have, I feel like this could change things between us.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you guys handle the line between friendship and physical intimacy? Do you think crossing this boundary could affect our friendship in the long run? I appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks for reading.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Homie, the only take that matters here is your’s for who you are.

When you think of someone that’s bisexual, what do you think that means? Do you fit that definition? Or are you aligned with something else?

My definition tends to be around romantic attraction, like you could live your life with someone of a similar gender or sex. Hookups or sex, especially for pay, is less relevant in the equation for me.

From my PoV, what y'all have is some blurred lines, which is totally fine if that’s your life. I think the reason you may be seeking help is because the boundaries aren’t clear. I would focus on defining them more before pushing into further unknown territory. I think your gut is right that it will change the dynamic, but that could go bad or great.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Your point of view is very interesting. Thank u

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I consider myself panromantic homosexual, so take this with a grain of salt, but:

a) You enjoyed masturbating each other and having physical intimacy. You also received a blowjob.

b) You're considering fucking him but are not sure because of the nature of your relationship, not because it's an activity you're not interested in.

So I'd definitely say you're bisexual, but as the sidebar says, bisexuality means different things for different people. But wanting/enjoying physical sexual contact with him makes you bisexual imo.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Asking myself this question seems strange to me, honestly. I'm a man who has always been clear about it, I've never stopped to think about these things because I never needed to. Yes, I experimented and, you know what? I liked it, but I don't think that it makes me bi. In the end, a mouth is a mouth, it doesn't matter if it's a woman's or a man's.

What I can tell you is that if I keep doing it, it's because I found a way to make money. It's not a fortune, but it's a good amount, and that's what matters in this case.

Thanks for answering.

[–] FeatherConstrictor 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I agree with what sneezycat said. Something a lot of people don't understand about bisexuality is that you don't need to be equally attracted to men and women to be bisexual; it's different for everyone, and can even change with time. There's also a difference between romantic and sexual attraction, and bisexuality is the term to cover sexual attraction. Someone who is straight would not feel comfortable with or enjoy doing sexual acts with someone of the same gender. To me it seems like you might be bisexual with a strong preference for women, and potentially are just heteroromantic. However, it is not up to me or anyone else to decide this for you; only you can know for certain.

Keep in mind though that while these terms can help us better express ourselves and find community, at the end of the day they are just labels. It's more important that you take the time to understand and accept who you are and what you enjoy over wondering if you fit under a specific label or not. Figuring these things out can take some time and honesty with yourself. Wishing you all the best!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Thank you for sharing your perspective and taking the time to explain it in such detail! I really appreciate your clarity and respectful approach to talking about this topic. I agree that labels can be helpful in understanding each other and finding community, but in the end the most important thing is to understand and accept yourself.

Your post has given me a lot to think about, and I especially appreciate that you have highlighted that only I can know for sure how I identify. I will take your advice and continue exploring and being honest with myself. Thank you for your well wishes too! 😊