this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
260 points (98.1% liked)

Not The Onion

13002 readers
1348 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 2 points 51 minutes ago (1 children)

why does his skin look like that. It looks like a shoddy spray tan job.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 25 minutes ago

He looks like he's been skiing 2 weeks ago, i cant see anything wrong here

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 hours ago

If I was in this meeting, and had previously never leaked anything, I would want to leak this, because this is funny as hell

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 hours ago

It could be worse, imagine his personal digital life was sold to a shady consulting firm piloting a conservative populist political campaign

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

how can someone be that fucking ugly

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Dont make me dm you a selfie

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago

Come on now! You have never seen ugly if you twist your panties in disgust from cuckerberg!

[–] loaf 19 points 12 hours ago

If he ceased to exist, he'd stop leaking.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

JFC mark that shit NSFL

What a traumatizing face

[–] heavydust 16 points 12 hours ago

His face still says "please love me, I have money," but at least he stopped doing that stupid Roman emperor haircut.

[–] Sabre363 48 points 15 hours ago

Maybe try not being a creepy little lizzard boi with a hard-on for privacy violation

[–] [email protected] 52 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

He said “we now have an opportunity to have a productive relationship with the United States government, and we’re going to take that.” He also addressed changes to the company’s diversity, equity, and inclusion policies, but largely mirrored what he has already said publicly on podcasts like Joe Rogan. More of what Zuckerberg said on internal strife at the company was reported by Business Insider, which also obtained a copy of the meeting.

He told us who he was while he attended university. Do we believe him yet?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

He also paid Trump $25m dollars as an apology for blocking his account years ago when it was justified

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

Zuck is like Lindsey Graham with money and more evil intentions.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 13 hours ago

The onion is going to go out of business if real life headlines like this one keep coming out.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 13 hours ago

Get some snuggies then you whiney man-baby.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 15 hours ago

The problem for the rest of us is, everything he says also stinks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Surly he is smart enough to do some combinatorics to figure out who is leaking the meetings.

It's the classic riddle of u have 1000 bottles of wine 1 is poisoned and u have 10 prisoners to test the wine. U must test all the bottles in 4 days, however it takes 3 days for the poison to take effect.

hintWith 10 prisoners u can test up to 1024 bottles

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

solutionNumber all bottles in binary, starting from 0000000000. Then the Nth prisoner drinks all wines where the Nth digit is "1". have each prisoner drinking the wines where a certain digit is "1".

So for example. If you had 8 bottles and 3 prisoners (exact same logic):

  • number your wines 000, 001, 010, 011, 100, 101, 110, 111
  • Prisoner 1 drinks wines 100, 101, 110, 111; if he dies the leftmost digit of the poisoned wine is 1, if he lives the poisoned wine starts with 0
  • Prisoner 2 drinks wines 010, 011, 110, 111; if he dies the mid digit is 1, else it's 0
  • Prisoner 3 drinks wines 001, 011, 101, 111; if he dies the right digit is 1, else it's 0

If nobody dies the poisoned wine is numbered 000. And if all die it's the 111.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

No, I only saw it after I solved the problem.

my reasoning / thought processInitially I simplified the problem to one prisoner. The best way to reduce uncertainty was to split the bottles into two sets with 500 bottles each; the prisoner drinks from one, if he dies the poisonous wine is there, otherwise it's in one of the leftover 500 bottles.

Then I added in a second prisoner. The problem doesn't give me enough time to wait for the first prisoner to die, to know which set had the poisonous wine; so I had to have the second prisoner drinking at the same time as the first, from a partially overlapping set. This means splitting the bottles into four sets instead - "both drink", "#1 drinks it", "#2 drinks it", "neither drinks it".

Extending this reasoning further to 10 prisoners, I'd have 2¹⁰=1024 sets. That's enough to uniquely identify which bottle has poison. Then the binary part is just about keeping track of who drinks what.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

Thanks for that little riddle, managed to solve it (with the hint) during my morning coffee.