this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 years ago (3 children)

There is no Titanic so James Cameron took out their sub so the truth wouldn't get out.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ha! The whole titanic event was constructed to ensure a hit movie... Love it! Now how do we fold in some flat earth stuff?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

What do you think the iceberg was for? Stopping the Titanic from finding the edge of the world.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

This is my winner.

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[–] boopeditandnow 34 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The submarine is staying down there because the pilot knows the Canadian wildfires are going to set the atmosphere on fire. They need to outlast the fire and repopulate the earth with the DNA they found on silverware from Titanic survivors.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'd watch a SyFy Original Pictures film with this premise, NGL.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

I'd watch a whole damn series.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That they weren't going down to see the Titanic at all. They were really out searching for Atlantis and got caught in a battle with Namor, who obviously crushed their submarine like a soda can.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago

The Earth is flat and the real reason Titanic sunk was because it fell off the edge. The submarine went too close to the edge and the waterfall flowing off the side caused the submarine to drift over the edge of the world and fall off.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

There is no limit to how dumb these conspiracy theories can get. It would not surprise me if Fox News said that the democrats sabotaged the submersible to prevent them from bringing back Hillary's emails that had been hidden on the wreck of the Titanic.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Just found in my FB feed (what am I even doing there?)

This is fucking hilarious

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Are you kidding me, here in the bible belt this theory is already widely accepted as a hard fact /s

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

The people on the submarine are actually alive and are living inside a underwater bunker!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Some government knows where the sub is, but they can't tell anyone to not show their actual surveillance capabilites.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

That doesn't sound that far fetched at all. I bet US has sacrificed thousands of Ukrainian soldier's lives just not to disclose their valuable secret reconnaissance capabilities. What difference would four more people in a submarine do to change their mind?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Yeah but these are billionaires we're talking about.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I browsed 4chan /x/ earlier today, so here's where they are...

The obvious one relates to the fact that founding members of the Federal Reserve were on the Titanic, and it was intentionally sunk to (something incoherent about economics). The submarine was sunk for similar reasons.

The Titanic didn't sink, but it was some other vessel, and They had to sink the submarine so the truth wouldn't get out.

There are deep ocean aliens, and the sub had to sink to conceal that fact.

Those are the ones I could remember. In any case, it's always the Jews and the CIA.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The Titanic being swapped out for a different ship is a persistent one that's been around for a while

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Do you know what the deal is with that? I couldn't figure it out, and one of the problems with /x/ is that they assume you already know what's going on with their conspiracies.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So the swap conspiracy is yhat the Titanic had a twin sister ship, i think it was like yhe olimpia or something like that. The conspiracy, iirc, is that the sister ship wasnt made completely vto the same "unsinkable" standards as the Titanic. But, the titanic wasnt going to be completed in time so they changed the names and no one would he the wise. I think another part of yhis is yhat yhe twin ship was around for quite a while and i believe rammed a german uboat in ww1 and so people think that was really the unsinkable one. I could be wrong a bout a number of these points though. It's been a minute since I'm read about that conspiracy theory and im to lazy to fact checky self.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

That makes at least a little bit more sense... Not to imply it makes sense, it just makes a little bit more sense.

I remembered after posting, the children of 4chan were implying the fake sinking thing was some sort of insurance fraud. But that only works if you also take the ship out of service, since otherwise the insurance company will be left wondering, well where did this other ship come from?

But this is one thing at the heart of conspiracy theories: they don't actually think about how the world works. It's like, one of the big conspiracies on 4chan at the moment is ESGβ€”environment, social, and corporate governance scores in investing. They think that this is a social engineering effort, as though Blackrock cares about anything other than money.

If you're curious what ESG is really about, it's a con to make stock-buying more palatable for millennials. But since the children of 4chan don't know anything about anything, it's gotta be Jewish social engineering.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

I think it's staged. You get a bunch of experts on the TV who talk about how there's a "1% chance" of survival. Then tomorrow, against all odds, they're saved! It's a miracle! Then the 4 billionaires get to be in a movie. Or maybe it takes a dark turn and I'm full of shit. Guess we'll see. Maybe they are faking their deaths.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

Orcas! They probably did the Titanic in too

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

Somewhere on the ocean floor would be a great place to hide Hunter Biden's laptop...

[–] stephywephy88 13 points 2 years ago

Stepson sabotages submersible because he wasn’t allowed to go to Blink182 concert; punk rock is therefore root of all societal evil.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

It defected to Russia with super advanced submarine tech and a nuclear bomb.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The poop post OP is planning to go diving with a submarine and wants to be prepared for the worst.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If he stops posting, this will be canon.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I sure hope so

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I already had someone suggesting it was eaten by some unknown massive deep sea dwelling creature.

[–] kakes 2 points 2 years ago

I honestly wish we lived in that world.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That it went missing due to the controller used. I find it utterly absurd to believe that a submarine of such high caliber could possibly go missing due to a low-grade Mad Catz controller. In my opinion, when you’re dealing with equipment as expensive and sophisticated as a submarine, you’d expect nothing but the most advanced and reliable controls, not some generic gaming joystick. It’s quite a far-fetched conspiracy theory if you ask me.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don’t know why people got so fixated on the game controller. Realistically they were just using it to give a computer some USB commands, and these controllers are excellent for that. The real difference between cheap and pricy ones is stuff like latency and better vibration. So no reason not to use the cheap one from a reputable brand

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not inherently a problem no, but the one they were using was wireless, and apparently reviews were full of connectivity issues. You'd think they'd pick something proven and reliable, like an official wired Xbox controller.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Or wire their own button box, so they could do stuff in case of component failures.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

That's probably asking a lot from this particular company

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Probably that the wealthy people onboard were just faking their deaths.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

It was eaten and/or mind-controlled by Leviathan; specifically, the pyramid-shaped tentacled hyperintelligent creature of that name from the Illuminatus! books.

[–] bernieecclestoned 6 points 2 years ago

Russia or the US torpedoed it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

It’s not really missing, there’s some life-insurance fraud going on.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

In 2-5 years it'll be brought to light that 2-5 of these rich fuckers were doing some S grade, distilled Epstein level, messed up shit. The conspiracy theory will be that they were killed because 2-5 politicians were going to go to prison if anyone found out so they tried to bury it.

[–] AlligatorBlizzard 3 points 2 years ago

I've just seen a stupid conspiracy theory about this - that the US government knew the sub imploded almost immediately but they went through with the search attempt in order to distract from what's going on with Hunter Biden right now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I saw a guy saying it had all been a simulation for the people inside the sub as if the govt faked it and just kidnapped them

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

β€œAliens”

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