this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 58 minutes ago) (1 children)

Everyone within my earshot has to tell the truth.

Works with TV, radio. Any real time communication.

I think this should also work on myself

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 51 minutes ago* (last edited 50 minutes ago)

I would use this power to make a communist organization of my choice completely immune to infiltration

Imagine an America without COINTELPRO

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

God of Toilet Paper.

You might laugh, but I would own the world.

If you were in my favor, you would get the softest, never-chafing, cleanest single-wipe-clean TP ever. No matter what you ate, no matter how spicy, no matter how ill, you could be assured of pain-free, cooling, soothing, wipes. It would be beautiful. Rainbows and peace, no matter how violent the shit

Piss me off? Anything you choose to clean your backside with is then designated TP. I will clog all the toilets, all the plumbing, all the sewers. I can make it all gympie-gympie leaves, sandpaper, wax paper, or just vanish mid-wipe. No matter how much you wiped your already raw ass, there would still be more. I would be a scourge on the Earth, and all would have to bow down before me. You would love me. You would hate me.

He who controls the comfort of the sphincter, controls the world.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I'd chose telekinesis. Heck man i'm sick of having only 2 hands and i'm lazy. I'm ready to use it everytime.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 5 hours ago

Power to make people have empathy.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

a whole gallon of jizz every time i cum

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 12 minutes ago

Kegel would hate you

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

yes ๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

The power to see through clothing. Because it would remind me that no one is really important.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

Umm... Sure that's why you want that

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Recon countering regret

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

Sixth sense/ Intuition

[โ€“] Stomata 3 points 8 hours ago

Just stay fit

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

You are now Cyamites, the god of beans. Use your powers wisely.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Could be worse. Highly nutritious foodstuff providing plenty of vitamins, protein, and fiber. I could do a lot to alleviate some world hunger immediately. Making people fart all over the world would be fun, too.

I could also put beans in the no-bean-chili gatekeepers chili. Evil bean god could be fun, too.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I love the idea of evil bean god! Thought it was a nice easter bunny chocolate? BAM, BEANS.

THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CELEBRATING ANOTHER GOD, HERETIC.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 minute ago

There is petty revenge and then there is this.

[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

super good luck. like the the chick from deadpool 2 I think or longshots if it always stayed on.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Healing of all kinds. Ageing, sickness, and wounds.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

You suddenly die of cancer that you've healed faster than your immune system can kill

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Eh, I would class that under sickness.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Can't die. It's gonna suck in 800 trillion years. Imagine if you can't sleep either because you don't need to recuperate.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

The dream of engineers: they can't get sick so no depression, they don't need to sleep so infinite focus and learning, and half a million years would be sufficient to build a large underground automated city and preparing space travel to find solutions for their curse

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

I didn't say Immortal. Death by violence is certainly possible.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Recuperate? I don't sleep to recuperate, only to pass time.

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