this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 139 points 4 days ago (3 children)

As a former deli slicer operator, I just wanna say this would have made my day and I'd be so much happier to hear 5 vs "shaved" which was a hell sentence for bastards.

5 is sending me. 5 is alive. 5 is freeing me from pain.

I am not sober

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 days ago (2 children)

5 is alive.

NO DISASSEMBLE!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Los Locos kick your ass, Los Locos kick your face; Los Locos kick your balls into outer space!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

He is leaking battery fluid!

[–] TheSlad 13 points 4 days ago

I get roast turkey from the deli for my cats. I always tell them "shaved as thin as possible". I know it sucks and I'm sorry. But if the cats get big pieces they'll take it elswhere in the house to eat it and sometimes forget about it and then I find 2 month old rotting turkey behind the couch.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

Anyone who says shaved gets thrown on the slicer themselves!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This reminds me when I was at a coffee shop where I ordered some hot coffee drink with milk. I don't remember what kind it was, but the barista brought out a big cup with a small coffee shot in it. Then she said something which I somehow didn't hear, so I just nodded and said "yes". She started pouring the milk into the cup. I just watched.

She continued to pour. Slowly.

After a few seconds, she raised her eyes up to me, still pouring the milk. I was starting to wonder how much milk this drink was supposed to have. I could see her starting to have more of a worried look while she filled up the last bit of the cup.

Finally she stopped. A full cup. I took the drink, said thanks and left.

When I tasted it, I noticed that the drink was incredibly weak. Then I realized that the barista had asked me to say stop, but I just made her basically make me a full cup of hot milk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Sounds amazing to me

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 days ago

I hate when your asked to choose a number on a completely arbitrary scale your are completely unfamiliar with.

Leave the scale for the regulars, and just accept "less, medium/normal, more"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 days ago

Germans know the rule:

"Wenn die Wurst so dick wie's Brot ist, ist's wurst wie dick das Brot ist."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Goddamnit, this unlocked a memory of a kid in middle school eating a can of spam with a spoon.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Poor life choices. There's a difference

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

I eat up internet's spam. With no spoon

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Child abuse

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 days ago

Thiccccc meat

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I don't think the numbers on the slicer correlate with any known measurement system

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ah. So it's a gauge system. Like steel plate or copper wire thickness.

5-gauge ham.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 days ago

5-gauge ham.

Sounds like it would be fired from a hilarious, disgusting, and enormous shotgun.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Nah, 5mm is a fifth of an inch. 5cm would be 2 inches.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

I can't read 😑

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago

Never got going to the deli and getting bologna, If I'm going to a deli I'm getting something good.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Fry it for sure, but you shouldn't need to add an extra fat. You always can if you want, but bologna fries really well on its own.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago

I'm feeling sick just by looking at this abomination

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago

Anxiety soon to be met with high blood pressure.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

Looks like you won. Enjoy your sandwich, King.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

What’s the problem, looks just about right.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (5 children)

What kind of meat is that? It looks disgusting.

[–] Rekonok 54 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] midnight_puker 3 points 4 days ago

A more apt description of deli ham I have not heard.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's the rare delicacy baloney steak.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

It is meat. Ask no further questions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

сука... not know doctor's sausage when you see it, блин?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

This was reported for potential harassment. Just to clarify for other users, doctor's sausage is a Russian sausage. It's pretty similar to saying "damn, you don't know spam when you see it? Shit.." (spam has a similar history...kind of)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

The kind named after an European town?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Looks delicious

[–] festnt 3 points 4 days ago

the perfect amount

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I not sure what is this thing but it's not meat.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Judging from looks and thickness, it could be Leberkäse, delicious 😋

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leberk%C3%A4se