Lol I can't believe this is real. How terrible must food be in your city for this to be successful? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza
this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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While originally topped with Velveeta, Altoona-style pizza is popularly topped with yellow processed cheese known as American cheese. The yellow squares of American cheese are a staple of this dish, used instead of the mozzarella or provolone common to other styles of pizza.
Everything about that paragraph makes me feel ill.
Following the destruction of the hotel in 2013 by fire, other local restaurants began serving Altoona-style pizza
It could have died there, but they had to do this
This made me discover Velveeta. I wish I hadn't.
Do not make the fudge recipe. Trust me.
I am sorry? There's a Velveeta fudge recipe!
Just the thought it is alone 🤮
It's from the 1980s iirc. I made it once which is one time more than it should have existed at all. It literally tastes like chocolatey barf.
I do find it comical that Americans call processed cheese “American”
It's telling for sure.
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Fixed that for Wikipedia:
Fun fact, you can trigger Wikipedia editors by changing the page in developer console and posting a screenshot of it, they'll scramble to revert a change that doesn't exist.
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The most successful businesses in Altoona when I lived there in the early 2010s were drug rehabilitation centers. All the factories closed, and the town is slowly dying.
This is a fucking culinary crime.
American cheese on pizza? that's the kind of thing I would do if I'm down to the last two items in the kitchen, and feel too lazy to go shopping, but still would hate it
That's the type of thing you make if you have nothing else in the fridge and you can't go out to get anything else. And you'd keep that shit quiet and never admit to it to anyone.
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cook with it? yeah
call it pizza? nope
I mean to be clear I'm from altoona and I've never seen pizza like this.
Y'all better be careful or you're going to fall down a rabithold of locally celebrated yet disgusting pizza in PA. It's like a whole thing there.
I knew PA was evil, but I never knew just how horrible.
I am biased being from NJ, but these pizzas vindicate me!
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there's no excuse for making a bad pizza. It's pizza, it's very hard to do it wrong
Yeah like, just don't call it a pizza and we're good. Call it an "Altooner" or whatever, but don't soil the good reputation of pizza with whatever this creation is.
Altoona melt
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I mean, sandwich bread, tomato sauce, ham and cheese on top, it's not a pizza, it's a microwaved 3am sandwich
Every person I've shared Altoona pizza with ironically has ended up unironically liking it, so I don't know anymore. I've never actually had it myself. Maybe this isn't any worse than Hawaiian pizza or cauliflower crust pizza?
At the end of the day though, this is just a regional food - like Cincinnati chili or Chicago hot dog - only after all the good ideas are taken, this was what was left. If they can sell one to everybody passing through Altoona just once, they've made a fair amount of money.
Cincinnati chili is beloved by Cincinnati, though...
And they say white people have no culture.
Grand sweeping gesture
No-one ever talks about white on white violence
Not even pineapple could save that.
This is not pizza.
Hello? I would like to report a crime against humanity.
Is this town filled with broke stoners or something?
Broke stoners in rural Pennsylvania? Say it ain't so!
Dunno about this particular area of PA, but the areas I am familiar with... the answer is meth.
Are those fucken Kraft singles? That's deplorable and I am disgusted beyond the spiritual realm.
Yeah, it's not a great town
There better be chilli fries under that cheese
Would you like a stroke?
Say what?
Would you like a pizza with a side of stroke hun?
Nah, but can I get it will a double pounder heart attack? And a side of diarrhea? I'm trying to keep my height to weight ratio.
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