this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Its okay for cats because they're cute and adorable, which elon isn't.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Isn't that the litterbox infamous for murdering cats?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

According to this article, no - the door on the bad design closes horizontally. The article actually uses a pic of this very box (or extremely similar) as an example of a "reputable" design. But then again, it also advised people to stop using the bad design, and to talk to their vet (why?!?) about the "next steps to take." 🤷‍♀️

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It's also because cats have no object permanence, just like Elon

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Cats do have object permanence though? So cats are in fact; smarter and cuter.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah that's right. Was just ranting. Haha. We're in the onion community

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Now I’m imagining a cat without object permanence trying to hunt a mouse.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

This is literally my cat when I'm in the bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, initially responsible for assisting the king in excretion and hygiene.

The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course.

The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "chamber system".[1][2]

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago

National Fecal policy

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is Trump we are talking about, so musk's title is probably more like "Presidential diaper changer".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

This is more info than we EVER needed or wanted to know about Elon's kinks.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I approve of all this content painting Musk as an invasive little brat who has no boundaries and is desperate to try to buy his way into the cool kids inner circle. Notice me, senpai!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Isn't that what they used to say about Trump?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This just in: Manufacturing efforts at the Tesla factory have been diverted to focus on building a bathroom door lock-picking robot.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 days ago

"Musk SLAMS local locksmith, calls him a pedophile for opening the lock first"

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 days ago

This just leaves Musk to scratch at the base of the door and wave his fingers around in the gap beneath the door until Donald finally relents, allowing Musk to enter and curl up in the crotch of Donald's pants while he's taking a shit.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

feels bad about it after a minute and lets him

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

He's not going to wipe himself.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago

Oh he doesn't like being follows into places that are meant to be more private when you're exposed? Wonder what the various women Trump has admitted walking in on thought about his similar behavior?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

I cannot wait for what these guys are going to do with infowars.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

This needs to be an article series.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

The First Lady is very needy in this upcoming administration.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Orangetard has enough shit in his pants he doesn't need anymore

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Nice. The spelling mistake makes it look like Trump soils pants just before donating them.

[–] ohellidk 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

well somebody's gotta give him the blumpkin, right?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

And Eric will be damned if anyone else is taking that spot. That's daddy and Eric time

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

I think you made a mistake, this is for satirical pieces.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Nah, Trump poops and texts whenever Elon goes into a K-hole. It's a solid routine. 😆

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Who's gonna wipe his butt then?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Based on trends witht he rest of his staff

  • Trump had someone
  • he probably handled classified shit (heh)
  • either Trump tried to have him killed or he went to jail.

So he'll need another. Who's the judge who's been cleaning up his smelly messes and isn't imprisoned?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Brings a new meaning to "Closed door meetings".