Asklemmy

It sounds like you’re in an ideal position since you’re leaving anyway.

Option 1: fuck em. Tell them nothing. Remain professional and curt until your last day and never look back. Don’t bother with the exit interview.

Option 2: say nothing to your manager. During the exit interview (assuming it’s not just your manager in attendance), tell them your manager constantly pressures you to engage in social activity outside your work scope. You didn’t want to do that because there’s already so much pettiness and politics and you don’t see how more social exposure to your coworkers would improve that.

Option 3: sit down with your manager right now and explain that you don’t want to make friends with your coworkers. You’re perfectly happy getting along with them and doing good work, but you keep your social life separated from your work life. You find constant non-work chatter as a distraction and it keeps you from concentrating on and delivering good work.

Option 4: quit now. Unless you really need a reference from this company in the future, every shift you remain there is just doing them a favour. Write a letter to the CEO outlining why you’re leaving and why you don’t see any possibility of the company culture improving under its current management.

Quite frankly, the fact that she used the word “family” suggests she’s too out to lunch and can’t be reasoned with. She didn’t become a manager through any sort of training and doesn’t possess the mindset to empathize where people are coming from if they aren’t exactly like her.

I might not be the best one to reply, but that "we're a family" shit irritates me.

"If we're a big family here, then you, and my coworkers, need to accept me as I am. This is who I am, this is how much I smile, and this is how much I socialize. Please, we my family, accept that."

"I'm not looking for a family here. I never was. Thank you for the invitation, but no."

It could be that simple.

Unless the contract you signed requires an exit interview, you aren't required to do an exit interview

If you really want to give it one last chance before leaving my advice would be to have a 1-on-1 talk with her.

Start out by saying that:

• You understand that she works in a different way to you.
• You feel more secure when your private and work lives are separate.
• You feel you are able to do your best work when you can focus on the task without distraction.

"Feel" is an important word here. You're not trying to be confrontational. You're trying to express your position so she can understand you and how you work better. You're trying to show her the right way to manage you, rather than pointing out the wrong way.

Then ask a couple of questions:

• Does she want you to communicate more because she's worried that you're not communicating issues that she needs to be aware of in her role? If so, that's a valid concern. Maybe organise a fixed time each week to discuss such issues so you can plan for it and come prepared.

• Does she think she can accommodate how you like to work?

I expect she values "openness" but that doesn't need to be sharing your whole life with the people you work with. So meet her half-way, be open about what you're working on and the problems you're facing. She may be able to help you by resolving your dependencies on others, or getting you what you need.

Maybe you could use a reality TV montage: I'm Not Here to Make Friends

It's an exit interview? And you want to know the appropriate thing to say to someone pressuring you to be social in ways you don't wish to be? You tell them to fuck the fuck off and you walk out the door.