this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
553 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

12111 readers
1798 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 hours ago

The Catholic Church has a new mascot.

It's a small child.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Looks kinda like that Chickpea comic.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

it looks like if raincoats were hijabs...

Who are they trying to appeal to with this, are they launching a vatican sponsored cocomelon clone?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

Designed by tokidoki 😑 what even is this timeline.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago

The dog shit on their boots is a nice touch.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Maybe they are trying to expaind theor Japanese market

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

If there is an internet rule for every character there is a religion swapped version of that character, I'd like to see Pagan/Wicca versions of them like they have moved out of the bible belt (especially Texas) and into a mostly blue state where they can preserve their freedom of religion from certain religious nutjobs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Make one with a gunstaff that's still in Texas plz

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

hurr durr austin.

turn that shit blue then we'll talk

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 hours ago

yeah thats gonna clean up their image

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 hours ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Already trained image LORAs https://civitai.com/models/899944/luce-vatican-mascot

Images hidden due to mature content settings

mother fuckers

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

I can't be sure this was the primary use-case that the AI inventors envisioned, but it's hard to argue that it's not successful at this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Guys are always ready to work. r63 next?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

There is already, in the r34 link above.... Ruleception

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

Really surprising it isn't a teenage boy.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Numbers are down, release the waifu! Common business strategy with ancient roots.

Samsung Sam corporate comic

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

I'd say the mascot is clearly a child, but the Catholic Church...

[–] [email protected] 36 points 14 hours ago

Something something "the power of god and anime on my side"

[–] [email protected] 40 points 15 hours ago (3 children)
[–] merc 7 points 6 hours ago

"Luz" is an incredibly common name in Spanish speaking countries. It means light. "Luce" means light in Italian, but seems to be less common as a name. Lucifer means "Light-bringer", and the myth of the light-bringer is much, much older than Christianity.

Old religions thought things in the sky were gods. Venus orbits closer to the sun than the Earth, which means light reflecting from it is extremely bright, but that light is only visible near sunrise and sunset. During the rest of the day the brightness of the sun overwhelms the reflected light from Venus, and during the rest of the night it's not visible because it's near the sun, so it's behind the earth. So, old religions talked about the brightest "god" in the sky, who disappeared when it got too bright or too dark. That led to the myth of the god who tried to be the brightest light and was cast down. That, of course, led to Satan, A.K.A. Lucifer.

I guess the Catholic church was giving its followers too much credit in their understanding of words.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 13 hours ago (5 children)

Yes; "Luce" is Italian for "Light' and "Lucifer" is Latin for "light bearer". They are cognates.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 12 hours ago

So whoever carries that anime figure is literally Luciferian.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I thought they spoke Latin in the Vatican, aren't they Latino? Otherwise how do we get such classical Christian idioms like "Romanes eunt domus"?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Italian is a direct descendant of Latin (along with nearly every other Western language)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

There's Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese...there are more Germanic-derived ones than Latin-derived, aren't there?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Romanian, Catalan, Sicilian, Galician, Venetian, probably a number of other dialects, are also Latin descendants.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

I'd have to get a list of every country considered "western" and then figure out how many have predominantly Latin-derived and Germanic-derived languages. Too much work. "Nearly every" one of them would most certainly not be Latin-derived, though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Thankfully there’s an entire field of linguistics that’s already done the work. Quick Google search shows 22 Latin descendant languages, and 24 Germanic descendant languages. So slightly more, yeah.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks, my google-fu wasn't up to the task. That's about what I was expecting.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Just blame AI, that's what's been working for me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

It has made finding actually useful information harder nowadays, but I'll still accept the blame for this one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I was thinking like... English.
Sure, it's got German and French and Greek and just a mess of everything, but there's a lot of Latin in there.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

English is a Germanic language that has had significant Latin and French (which added more Latin) injected into it over the years. It has to be the most mongrel widespread language in existence, which is probably why it's such a mess when it comes to spelling. Still, it also has a lot of flexibility and word choices because of it.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 15 hours ago

Yeah, that was my reaction as well. It's so onion flavored I can't believe it.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 15 hours ago

Finally the Catholics have discovered religion!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 16 hours ago

Luce will also represent the Holy See at Expo 2025 in Osaka, Japan.

I love this sentence so much.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

This is the onion-ness we all deserve

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago

Ahh now I get all the R34 jokes on reddit or/memes today

load more comments
view more: next ›