this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
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Girls who've had difficulties getting/staying hard. What helped?

So I've been on estrogen for 3.5ish years, and projesterone for most of that. I'm about 2 years post orchi. I basically can't top anymore, and I've got two partners that I would very much like to top.

I've tried ~~Sildenafil~~ Cialis in the past, which did basically nothing. Viagra had mixed results, but leaves a huge barrier to spontaneity. I've heard of some girls using topical testosterone creams or gels, but I'm a little afraid of getting other androgenic effects. Kegels haven't done much good, but perhaps I just haven't managed to do them consistently enough.

Have any of you had success with anything you've tried?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Nothing. I learned to enjoy sex without it until bottom surgery.

Strap ons are great though

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It was mental for me, so I stopped watching porn and got a Fleshlight. I started only thinking about my partner or what he looks like naked when I masturbated and that helped me overcome it.

Good luck! It can be really frustrating.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

You could try a cock ring. Doesn't need to be fancy, and use a flexible one, not rigid.

Am a cis gay male who is a natural bottom, but a cock ring enables me to stay hard while topping. Sorry to intrude, I enjoy learning the perspectives of all the trans communities on Lemmy ☺️

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Depends on whether OP has penile atrophy, without testosterone causing spontaneous erections every night while sleeping, the penis will atrophy and lose the ability to hold as much blood as it did before, so even if she can get it erect it won't be as hard or hold as much blood as before. The cock ring will help keep the blood that can be held, but it may not be enough to be useful for penetration, if that makes sense.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 7 points 1 month ago

Honestly, not a bad recommendation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ive been using topical T cream for years now since first getting issues with erections, habent had androgenic changes besides the fact i dont have dick skin tightness anymore.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's honestly pretty encouraging. How well has it worked for you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Since starting its basically a case of needing to remember to use it or lose it, 0 spontaneous erections, but with consistent use i havent had any atrophy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Others already said Mental/Hormones, it could also be low blood pressure. A little dizziness when standing up fast, maybe Feet that are always cold? Both are potential signs.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 4 points 1 month ago

Definitely get the dizziness when I stand up, and I definitely have a tendency for cold hands and feet. They always get my blood pressure checked when I go to the doctor tho, and they've never said anything.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Viagra is just a fancy name for Sildenafil. So it's basically the same thing. Rising testosterone level will help but I recommend it only after legal gender change.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why only after legal gender change?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Well it depends on your gender dysphoria. Different people have different levels of dysphoria. I described generic case when you are free from misgendering from government when you don't feel pressure anymore and can reconsider your HRT (but of course it depends on many things).

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 3 points 1 month ago

Oh shit you're right. I always get the generic and Brand names mixed up. I meant Cialis.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Hey! Not MTF (yet..? stuff's wacky currently) but I do know of something that may prove to be useful.

Might I suggest yohimbe bark? Avoid yohimbine supplements, but I make tea with 3-5g of ground, shredded bark. It works decently well, moreso than anything else I've tried. On top of that, it appears to be a vasodilator--it shouldn't affect hormone levels long-term! It's effective in all sexes, too.

Effects (of tea) begin after thirty or so minutes, and this aligns with all accounts I've seen. It causes restlessness, so I'd avoid evening use.. unless that's your goal. Also, doing too much is fairly dangerous. It is preferred to stick to the lowest effective dose--though, I don't seem to be dead. Interesting..

Overdose isn't fun. It's easy to overdose on, yet hard when you actually follow instructions.. like how I didn't. Anyways.

Mountain Rose sells 8oz. of bark for cheap, but took a little bit to ship. Nothing bad. The tea actually tastes decently pleasant--earthy, kind of sweet, a bit bitter, nothing overwhelming. Can't go wrong with trying?

I'll answer any further questions to the best of my ability whenever I find the time. Also, random stranger on the internet, medical advice, all that. Do some of your own research--with the caveat that any site ridden with "ineffective" and "dangerous" for every single compound in existence is probably propaganda, and not worth considering. Hope I've been helpful! Wanted to provide an answer that nobody else would.

Else? I agree with strap-on suggestions, though it's got its downsides. Pretty much everything in this thread is sound advice!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Use a strap-on dildo. :-)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

What was your dose of Cialis?

Not sure if this helps, but Carta Monir talks about her experience with erectile dysfunction in Napkin, here are the relevant pages (warning: NSFW text): https://imgur.com/a/xeeuMvc

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Honestly I don't remember. I was taking it every morning, and I never had my dosage increased, so probably what ever the typical starter dose is. Maybe I just needed a higher dose? I'll have to talk to my doctor about it next chance I get.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

yeah, maybe just cross-reference with Carta Monir's dose, she used to take 10 mg "as needed" but found it ineffective because she had to wait an hour for it to take effect, and it forced an erection rather than just enabled her to get and stay hard; then she changed to taking 2.5 mg every morning and she found that helped her get and keep erections whenever she needed. You might have just needed to adjust your dose, but I don't know.