this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
332 points (92.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 months ago

Fake: Mustache
Gay: not his “type”

I’m onto you anon.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 months ago

Anon didn't get laid.

Story is probably true.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Anon is into 10/10 men.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

The real psychopathic behavior is drinking warm nesquick that had been sitting in his car for hours.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago

I think the joke is just that this is psychopath behaviour

[–] festnt 20 points 2 months ago

moral of the story: dude's dumb

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If she grabbed that thing out of the air and smashed it anon couldn't really call the cops on her for it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

a 10/10 would've jumpkicked it out of the sky

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Courtship rituals

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Napoleon Dynamite kind of story. Love that movie. Pedro is numero uno.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Legend.

I liked the small window where short shorts made a come back. Got to show up that bump on your quads near your knee.

That was cool. Didn't quite get as many girls as I hoped. But still it was a nice window. Probably should have grown the moustache for extra benefit.