this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

Hah! If I had received such a message I would call my servants to build my pyre because I would certainly be on fire from such cleverness.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Marduk and Shamash at Tenagra.

Wait, where am I again?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

As savage as Nergal!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I love how the name is "wife2". Guess his exwife is still in his phone as "wife"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pff. Do you name your property? Next you'll be telling me you name your hat.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You leave Hatbert out of this.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My Capula can beat up your Hatbert!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are these British pokemons?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Oi mate, you 'ave a loicense f' 'ose pokéballs?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

He clearly has... more than one wife at a time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Hey, Enkidu was civilized. After 2 straight weeks of banging the priestess, anyway.