A place to talk about parenting.
Be respectful of others' parenting decisions.
My parents tried to get me to gain weight my entire life. It led to a pretty bad diet by the time I was living on my own and I only ever gained weight when I ate chicken burgers from meal hall literally every day.
Don't focus on weight, just make sure he is healthy. It can lead to poor choices and insecurities down the road.
That is my fear, honestly. He is a great fruit eater and a pretty decent veggie eater, especially compared to his peers. My once-skinny husband never was and he has definitely put on weight in adulthood (although I’m also not one to talk, but at least I eat fruits and veggies; I just also have an insatiable sweet tooth). He eats some junk food but I worry less about that when, if given the option, he’d likely choose salmon sushi and strawberries over almost anything else that might be offered.
Then that's great! Don't let anyone shame him for being skinny unless there are pressing health consequences.
That's how I was. 5'11" and 145 lbs when I graduated highschool. Despite my ridiculous appetite, I didn't really gain weight until my early 20s. Probably alcohol to blame for that. As long as your kid is healthy and eating enough there isn't anything to worry about. Just how some of us are.
BMI is generally a shitty indicator. I had 16 at some (rather long) point in my life, and now, I... let's say, don't. If his blood tests are fine and he's functioning well, I'd let nature run its course, especially if he's eating well. Pushing empty calories into him is just going to create food intake disorders.
—a person who's been in somewhat a similar situation and who's around several people with food intake disorders and a father to a very skinny kid presumably without one
Honestly, an athletic kid, you just make sure their protein intake keeps up with their activity and don't worry much about weight until and unless the doctor says it's a problem.
Your post and comments are kinda confusing in that regard, but it seems like the doctor isn't worried about it, everything relevant has been checked and that this is a more general concern from your side. If that's not the case, you could consult with a nutritionist and see what kind of dietary changes might better support the kid's activity levels.
But, usually, it's only weight loss that's going to be a problem as long as growth is still ongoing
She is a bit worried. She did say it’s good that he’s not losing weight. But she is concerned that he’s not gaining at a rate that is on pace with his height.
If that's the case, gotta work in a well rounded workout diet. At 10 (or did I misread?), he's not going to pack on a ton of muscle, but he won't put any on without the diet being balanced for the amount of work he's putting in, even at kiddie karate level of output. If the classes are more serious, the workout they give will be too.
If you can't get advice from a nutritionist, just up the protein a little at a time until he either starts gaining lean weight, or it becomes evident that his body just isn't ready to gain that kind of mass yet.
Just track what he's getting, and bump it up as needed, with the goal being (and this is general purpose, without knowing the kid or any medical history, so definitely triple check) in the 35 to 40 grams per day range. That's just a tiny bit above the typically recommend levels for his age, but should be enough to notice change in a week or two.
You could likely go as high as 50 grams a day, though for sure talk to the doctor again before staying at that range. The increased protein intake shifts how a kid's body handles calorie management, and I'm simply not up to date on the whole subject. Only reason I have recent enough info to merit commenting is having taught some kids in that age range some martial arts over the last couple of years.
Again, you gotta take internet advice with a grain of salt. No matter how well intended, no matter how well informed, we just don't have the full medical breakdown, or any direct interaction with the lad to be certain of much of what we can say.
Only other thing I'd throw in is the general advice to not push beyond his appetite often. Sometimes, it's necessary, but when it's frequent, kids tend to adapt too well, and get focused on the wrong aspect. That can lead to over eating regularly. When they keep pushing past satiety, they can lose sensitivity to satiety to some degree or another. I tend to err on the side of offering things more often rather than increasing amounts per sitting.
Same with me as a kid, same with my stepson now, same with his father as a kid.
Whole milk is the way to go, but be careful about boosting dairy intake. Constipation isn't fun.
We only buy whole milk for this reason! He does drink some sometimes but we might encourage it more regularly. He does have a tendency to get constipated though; sadly that seems to run in my side of the family. His doc worries that constipation will make him feel “full.”
I've always had issues with gaining weight. For most of my life I was 5'10"(178cm) and 135lb(61kg). The only thing that ever made a meaningful difference(as an adult) for me was protein powder. I could drink nothing but beer for every meal and not gain a pound, but whey protein powder in conjunction with weight lifting helped me put on about 15-20lbs(7-9kg).
I think 10 is a little young to be seriously worried about forcing weight gain though, especially if he's already got a calorically full and balanced diet.
His doc did explain that she’s not worried that he’s skinny; it’s that he’s not gaining weight in pace with gaining height. She agrees that some kids are just skinny and that by itself is not a bad thing. Also, that this is a trend for my kid; she also said that kids can gain in bursts and maybe we’re just due for a burst, but this has been a convo at every appointment for…a while. At least three years.
We intervened when our kid went under 3% on the body weight chart. Condensed milk and pediasure were our best outcomes. The condensed milk went into his Mac and cheese. Pediasure was a part of any snack. I made smoothies and would dump megatons of calories in it which were easily hidden by the yogurt and fruit.
And, of course, shit tons of ice cream.
His body weight skyrocketed and within 12 months he was over 20%.
Costco has condensed milk, pedicure, and ice cream for about as cheap as you can get it. It can get brutal at the grocery store for the Pediasure specifically but Costco has a decent price for it.
Ah awesome, I will try Costco. I might buy a small amount of the Pediasure to try it first and make sure he doesn’t balk. Condensed milk is a great idea! Does it change the flavor or texture at all? He’s picky about the texture of his beloved Kraft.
It does change the texture. It makes it heavier, if that makes sense. You can always add less or more until you find a spot they’ll eat. And they may like it better with it.
Good luck.
You could add nuts like shelled pistachios or walnuts as snacks. Even mix things together to make your own granola/snack mixes with dried fruits, nuts, oats. And you can make different varieties so it doesn't get old. Example: Almonds, dried cherries, oats. Or pistachios, dried cranberries, pretzels
Or you can buy them, there's a huge variety of sweet or savory and even spicy in stores.
Is he energetic? Maybe more sport activities will make him hungry?
He’s in martial arts, and likes it a lot. He goes 2-3 times per week typically, with the goal this year of closer to 3 on a regular basis, but we’ll see. Team sports have not had much appeal so far.