Transfem

I thought you were a cis woman tbh. Saw the image before I read the title.

Look, I’m gonna be real with you. It’s not that you don’t look like a woman, you just think that you’re ugly. You need to compliment and appreciate that woman in the mirror, even if she doesn’t fit your beauty standards. Like would you call another woman ugly or tell a transwoman she looks like a man? No. So don’t do that towards yourself. Easier said than done but worth the effort.

Being lonely and touch-starved is a real thing, and there’s no magic solution for that. Having pets can help, if you’re in a situation to get one. I’d also recommend some body-focused meditative and physical activities like yoga or tai-chi. It helps center yourself into your body and be aware of your own presence (which yeah, can increase the dysmorphia, but see above paragraph,) which can help reduce how overwhelming that loneliness and touch-starvation can be.

Your perceptions do not reflect reality. You look like a young woman. And you are not going to believe any of us no matter how many times we say it.

Unless you believe you were mistaken in wanting to be a woman, stay on HRT. Unless you believe your depression is caused by the HRT, stay on the HRT.

If you are depressed because you think you don't look like a woman, stopping HRT will not help.

There isn't much we can do on a discussion to help. A few kind comments and well wishes are not an effective treatment for depression. Do you have people in your life who you can go to for help? You need longterm help and support which is something a discussion community like this can't reasonably offer.

Based on that photo, I don't think you look like a man.

I wish I had curly hair like you, it's so cute

I thought you were posting in the wrong subreddit, upset that you don’t look like a man at first.

You uh, don’t look like a man. At all.

I have no idea about the process of HRT but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I hope you can find a way to make your outside match how you want to feel because you deserve it.

Girl, you do not see what everyone else sees. Your "dysphoria" is worse than ever because you feel like you don't live up to the brain worms beauty standards that all women have forced down our throats. You can be a bombshell and still not get loved or snuggled. Being ultra pretty won't bring that, but appreciating yourself will.

The biggest thing standing in the way of you getting the love you need is how unhappy you are. When I was a young adult, I thought I could never find a relationship because I was ugly as hell. Looking back at my boy appearance, I looked fine. Plenty of dudes who looked like that found the relationships that seemed so impossible at the time.

The reason I couldn't get one was because I hated myself. I had no confidence in how I carried myself as I thought I was the ugliest person on earth. Now that I've started to transition, I'm feeling so much better about my appearance. I still see problems that really bug me, especially my fat distribution and unsymmetrical face, but I know I'll never think I look perfect. I'll never see no problems, even if I improve those things.

The secret to feeling better about yourself is appreciating what things you can feel better about. You have cute hair, sweet eyes, fully lips, and adorable cheeks. You look like a woman, a sad woman, but not a man. People perceiving you as a man might have more to do with how they know you from the past than who you are now. Unless they see you in a dress with the most fem makeup imaginable, their perception of you just won't update. You're both overlaying a ghost on you rather than seeing the truth.

If I had to presume something that bothers you about your appearance, I'd guess it's having a bigger nose, which makes me really sad. So many women have noses like yours, it's just a beauty standard thing rather than a gendered thing. If you dislike how they look right now, try smiling. Everyone looks better when they smile or laugh, as they seem more approachable and friendly.

You're a pretty girl who I'd be more than willing to cuddle, holding and soothing, telling you that you're safe from the imaginary man you see in the mirror.

Doesn't matter what a stranger says on the Internet but if it helps a little you really do look like a woman.

Hey Sky, I remember you posting in the past. I'm sorry you're still struggling with these issues. In line with most people here, I think you do look feminine but there's a lack of confidence probably stemming from a not-great relationship with your appearance.

I hope to add some new thoughts here. I have pretty similar hair to you. It can feel like a blessing and a curse, because it can look great but it's a lot of effort (especially from an AMAB perspective on haircare). I'm gradually learning more and more and it's one of the most gender-affirming things I have going for me. I think maybe if you can focus on liking a bit of your appearance more than you might start feeling a little better and more hopeful about your appearance overall. Here are some easier things you can try with your hair. It looks like you part your hair down the middle - try parting it on one side. Try a 'messy bun' with a ponytailer. Try some 'half up' big claw hairstyles. Feel free to let me know how it goes. Good luck, I'm rooting for you :)

You're blind to the progress you've made, because it's slow, and because you've convinced yourself it isn't there. Keep going, every day there's going to be reason to struggle. Your brain's going to be an asshole, but you're still going, still struggling, still progressing. Eventually, you'll be able to quiet the shittier internal voices, and start talking to yourself like you deserve to. Love yourself, you're going through the shit right now, but you're ~still going~

Happy to see you post again, even if it's not under the best circumstances. You got this, bud.

for me i got a lot of confidence from trying a lot of different styles and finding what i felt most comfortable with. i did so much with my hair, different cuts (side shave was so fun), dyeing it, different methods of heat styling (for real, spending a bit of extra money on finding heating elements that cant physically burn your hair is SO worth it, i feel with my curly hair going for more even curls was the way to go, e.g. wrapping it around a conical element), digging through bras and bra types until i found the perfect kind for my body, etc. a lot of small things can add up to a greater whole.

two years is no time to be figuring out all these things that most women learn from being a kid to being mid 20s. i felt similarly after 2 yrs hrt, i felt like i was stuck.

Picture isn’t loading for me, but based on the comments you may be experiencing body dysmorphia. Sometimes as hrt takes its effect dysphoria becomes dysmorphia. And the biggest thing to understand is that dysmorphia doesn’t reflect reality and it doesn’t respond to pharmaceutical treatments, but it does respond to therapy. Try seeking a trans friendly therapist who deals in it. Speaking as a trans woman who has a different kind of body dysmorphia (I struggle to believe I’m skinny) it’s a real struggle and self hate doesn’t help, it just leads you to self destructive responses.

Saying something unpopular here: I don't think that picture looks like "a cis woman" tbh. The hormones have definitely worked (if you aren't convinced I'd recommend comparing to a decent sized pre-HRT shot and really zoom in and compare details on facial features one at a time including things like preceived facial diameter, it's many details but they add up!) and you almost definitely don't want to drop the HRT unless your trying to physically detransition!

However, if we met on the street I'd immediately guess "trans-women" and looking at the picture I believe the reason for this unfortunately is facial bone structure, particularily the upper facial half: the forehead is rather steep and the brow ridge is on the more pronounced side as well. (Maybe also chin, but not a big deal really.) Unfortunately, this cannot be changed with surgery.

As others have pointed out this may not actually be the source of your problems, but if your disatisfied with your physical appearance, I think this may be the way to get remedy.

You do not look like a man. Just an opinion from a random boring cis male.

Sorry for necro-ing an old thread, hope I’m not being creepy - just reading old mtf threads to educate myself and couldn’t not say something.