What does he do if you stay where you're at and ask what he wants you for?
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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your post has just illustrated to me how blissfully uncommon it is that anyone ever tells me to "come here".
I can't tell you the last time someone said it. I'm sure it's not super long ago but I don't remember a specific circumstance.
There have been differently phrased instances, though:
"hey, can you have a look at this for me please?"
or
"i'd like to show you something"
or
"i need your help with something"
or
"i want to go over something with you when you get a chance" while implying by nodding toward the hallway out of earshot from the others in the office
etc.
...
jordan howlett does it on his youtube shorts though i guess? but that's not to ME, that's to the whole audience. and he zooms in with his phone camera. freaking love that guy.
Thats just how he talks. Tell him to try and rephrase it. It can take a while if he is stuck in his old ways though.
My husband does this too, and when I ask “What’s up?” he coyly replies “You’ll see!” Argh!
THIS! You’ll see. Why ? WHY?? Just tell me
No! You go over there!
Did you tell him?
Oh yes. But he has zero impulse control (because he practices none) so the second he thinks about something he wants to show me he does it again
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You're not alone, tho I usually don't deal with that. when someone tries that on me, unless it's in a situation where they literally can't move from that spot, I go "Ok, cool. YOU come here, then." Why? Simple: you wanna show me something. when I need you for something, then I'll walk my ass over to you and ask/show you what i need. Pretty reasonable ask to give me the same courtesy back, i think. Only one that's exempt from that is my ma, everyone else is gonna get a variation of the above.
This is an annoying trait that my moms husband has. It's ok to let it annoy you. It shouldn't be fucking with your day. If he says come here just say I'm doing or in x(watching the TV, in the kitchen, eating lunch, cleaning) it doesn't need to be super important but it'll just communicate you're doing something she he can bring the news to you. It should not stress you out though. Just change the dynamic a bit.
Ask him to add "This is interesting!" followed by "please".
If he won't, repeat the request 3 times, then announce that you're going to pretend he didn't say a thing and refuse to move.
I've heard other people complain about this behaviour. The problem is that your husband is extorting a reaction from you. You are obliged to generate the reaction, out of politeness and respect for his feelings. There is a cost attached to this performance that you are bearing but not really much of a reward. I know because I'm doing it to my wife and she hates it. My daughter is doing it to me and I hate it. I should stop but torturing her like this is fulfilling some dark corner of my mind.
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My wife does this, and I understand where you're coming from. Especially if I'm in the middle of something. Although, at least for me, it's usually a nice thing she wants to show me, I'd rather know what she wants me for before I make my way over to her. If I ever need her presence I go to her and tell her what I need her for, but she always tells for me in another room. I think that's what bothers me about it. I'd like her to do for me what I do for her.
My wife does that, too. I mean, yes, sometimes we just want to show something and sometimes it's only cool with a tad of surprise (a cat that has hidden in a funny spot or something), but she has me running around for absolutely nothing very often.