You can post this 3 or 4 more times trying to get an answer you want but at this stage talk to him. We don't know you, we don't know him, we are not a telepathic species.
this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2024
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Relationship Advice
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I'm just asking for different opinions on a different forum, I don't know what you do and where you post comments. If you've already given an answer than feel free to go on, you wanna get high on upvotes?
Normally I'd say you're both adults and he's pretty clearly into you, so shoot your shot. Buuuuut ... What was with that driving you home "to protect you"? That feels like at least a yellow flag to me, for potentially controlling behavior. I'd try to get a better read on that before jumping into anything.
he’s pretty clearly into you
Don't want to bother, but can I ask you what gives it away for you?
What was with that driving you home “to protect you”? That feels like at least a yellow flag to me, for potentially controlling behavior. I’d try to get a better read on that before jumping into anything.
With that he was referring to making me go last so I could avoid traffic at a certain hour. It still felt strange to me because I'm a good driver (all of the instructors kept telling me) and the traffic he referred to were parents picking up children from school, which wasn't that big of a danger in my view. Even stranger saying it twice and as if he had difficulties with saying it. It's just not "protection", I would never call it that. Unless I wanted to make someone feel a certain way, does it make sense? My first thought was he was trying to see how I'd react to that, it was our last day and maybe he wanted some sign...?
Obviously I could be misreading it myself given that I'm only experiencing the circumstances via your post, but what seems to give away that he's into you is just how you describe your interactions with him. The making eyes from across the room, gravitating toward you, paying special attention (especially offering to drive you home) - those are all pretty good signs, especially when taken together.
And yeah, I think it was mostly the use of the word "protect" that made me second guess his personality. He could just have a weird way of talking, but that wording puts my guard up a little. That isn't to say that he's a weirdo, but it certainly makes it worth approaching with a bit of caution - especially given the big age gap. Maybe he doesn't necessarily chase younger women and he's just enamored by you in particular. But, there are a looooot of older guys out there who prey on younger women because they feel that they can control them.
Also, you said you're "not expecting anything serious." Be careful there as well - he very well may have something different in mind. It's a big age gap that I'd generally advise against for lots of reasons, and different life stages is a big part of that. He could be looking to settle down, start a family, etc. If you were in your early 20s I'd say run, but being that you're both full adults and you might be ultimately looking for the same things, you do you. That is, as long as you're not getting any red flags. Maybe a coffee date or whatever wouldn't be a bad idea to see what vibes you're getting from him in a different setting.
Again though, I'm a total outsider so take this all with a big grain of salt and go with your own gut.
Thank you! ❤️
You're welcome, and good luck!
If I remember right, if he dropped you off first, the other student would then know where you live, correct? Or did he already know that from a previous day?
The other student wasn't with us.
- instructor chose me to go last for the driving test
- went and drove for the exam with the other student and the examinator
- got back with all of them, the guy goes home himself or gets picked up, idk.
- instructor and examinator drive with me.
- Then it was just us and he drove me home.
Assuming you're both single, ask him if he wants to go grab a drink sometime. See where it goes.
edit: Or if you're looking for something a little more stable and less fling-ey, I'd open with coffee instead of a drink.