I think, this is it https://store.steampowered.com/app/237550/Realms_of_Arkania_Blade_of_Destiny/ Still selling on steam. The ancient relic that survive since DOS time.
I never got into Blade of Destiny but Star Trail and Shadows over Riva were my jam back in the day.
These games were certainly unafraid of punishing the player and contained some oldschool bullshit. They also had some issues like some spells you can never use (because they didn't have the entire trilogy planned out when they started but wanted characters to carry over).
But damn were they atmospheric. Good soundtracks, too.