These tomatoes are such a mess! They grow so awkward, with long and pointed flesh. To top it all off they are sometimes so spicy that they are unpleasant even in a tomato sandwich. It's all gone wrong somewhere.
I'm sorry but those aren't tomatoes, they're cucumbers, the red color means they're overripe.
I thought they were eggplants with not enough nutrients in the soil
Wait what's that thing you said at the end
It's what plants crave!
These plants have never had soil in their whole life, fuck.
I hate cucumbers. Maybe I should pick a peck of them to pickle. Fuckers.
This is what wild tomatoes look like before they are tamed.
Um, you obviously don't know anything about gardening. Those are eggplants, but you planted them upside down 🍆
I guess I was having an episode of reefer madness because I definitely don't remember planting eggs upside down.