Let Reddit go lol, it's making you paranoid.

We should reject Reddit toxicity in general, tell them they don't have a place here or anywhere.

Wait, so you're saying we should kick out all ex-Redditors?

First they came for the Redditors, and I said nothing
Then they came for the Facebookers, and still I said nothing
Then they came for the Instagramians, and still I said nothing
Then they came for the Twits, and I laughed and laughed and laughed until I vomited
Then they came for the OnlyFans, and I think they're still coming

Are you the same person as this guy? You seem to keep making new accounts and posts to hide your post history and complain about redditors.

I certainly can't know whether what you've experienced is actually toxicity or just criticism, as I can't see your post history. But any site with sufficient mass will be flooded with people like this. All the way back to 1993.

Part of being online anywhere with open signups and free discussion is just dealing with that sort of thing. The only way to prevent it is to spin up your own defederate instance and only allow people to join who you deem worthy of conversation with.

I think maybe you are on the wrong instances. Find some better people or start your own community. And we are Lemmings not Redditors anymore.

you should get over yourself, and not worry about calling other people names

Kbin and Lemmy are better built than Reddit in several ways to handle those behaviours to a certain point:

• Karma: it's hidden on Kbin, and I can't find it on Lemmy. So, there is no pressure to post or comment something. Do you know that feeling on Reddit when you have 500 karma, you write a comment, and later you have 480 karma? That's what I'm talking about.

• Instances with their own rules: every instance has its own administrator(s), and they can set different rules for them and apply them. Some are more tolerant than others, so in the end,your experience depends on what instance your account is. Besides, some instances don't have downvotes, so that's a big plus too.

• People: we all, or the most of us, know how situation was on Reddit, how we struggled to make our experience be positive, with no success. Because we know that, we don't want that situation to replicate on these places. It's difficult sometimes, but we do what we can.

• Defederation: as someone said here, if situation inside an instance is too hard to tackle, to the point that those bad entities harass users on other instances, then defederation is key, until the situation comes back to normal.

And there are other things, like algorithm (or lack of), code open sourced to fork if you wish, etc.

I went to Reddit today for a simple, politly asked question. First time in 51 days. It turned into a shitshow within 2 hours, with people being incredibly mean toward me and others. Man, Reddit has become everything I hate about social media. I use to like it because it was easy to have civil discussion, but thats gone now.

The only real toxicity i have noticed on here comes mostly from lemmygrad

Are you OK mate? Like, seriously, are you OK? It sounds like you're very preoccupied with Reddit. Just do what a lot of us recent Lemmy joiners have done - delete your account and never visit that shithole again.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

People on Lemmy can be a bit rude at times, but it's not like they're actually toxic. A huge proportion of Lemmy (and mastodon) users have tech background, and this demographic are often very direct and don't mince their words when posting online, which can appear to be rude and unwelcoming. Just keep your head cool when talking to them.

That being said, toxic people do exist here though, the kind of people that downvotes and do personal attacks when people post something they don't like instead of doing civilized discussion like normal people. Most people here probably know who I'm talking about lol.