this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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I'm going to a dance party for the first time. I'm scared of becoming a fly on the wall. What can/should I do if this happens? Edit: It was a ton of fun. Thank you all for submitting your thoughts (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
21 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Are there some practical things you can do at that point? Or is that the cue you should just leave?

Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 months ago

Look, I’ll be honest with you: I don’t know how this is going to go. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to be a fly on the wall.

That said, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to put yourself out there, too. By asking for a dance, you’re communicating “I’m here to have fun”. Try to say that to as many people as you can and you’ll have a blast.

Also, Salsa is so dang easy to do the basic step. 90% of the Latin dances I’ve been to have been just doing the basic step for the whole song and looking at people around me for inspiration of moves to try.

You’re gonna do great.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Remember this: no one cares if you’re not a good dancer. What matters is that you are having fun. It’s also okay to be a fly on the wall, it’s okay to move your feet slightly while hugging the wall. It’s okay to close your eyes and pretend you’re dancing in your bedroom in front of your mirror, it’s okay to walk away and take a break if it becomes too much. Don’t force it, just remember to ask yourself if you’re enjoying what you’re doing. A party is about having fun, not winning a contest of popularity or a dance-off (you can totally have a dance off if you want to though). Enjoy!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ask people if they would like to touch your monkey.

Edit oops meant that as a reply to the op. Oh well, now it is the time on sprockets when we dance.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

My points are still valid. Because some people decide to dance with a partner and follow dance moves doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to enjoy your time and dance by yourself, just don’t take the center stage maybe. If anyone judges you for trying to trance then they’re the bad dancers. Vance should be inclusive, especially at a party. Have fun, and don’t stress it.

[–] xmunk 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just fucking enjoy yourself - however you prefer to do so.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

I'm an introvert and this is something I've learnt. If I've agreed to go to an event then the event will only be as fun as I let it be.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Chat to other wall flies/bar tender. Dance around in your own(I've seen guys/gals at the salsa bars jiggling round and swinging those hips, there aren't always enough partners). Smile, have a good time. You don't need others to make it a good time, put out a relaxed positive vibe and it'll come back to you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Also spend some time just focusing on the music and enjoying it… everything else will follow.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

I've said this a few times.

Parties are not my thing BUT if a friend asks me to go to a party with enough time (maybe 2 weeks), I can mentally prepare, schedule things out, and get my mind ready for a long, tiring night... But hey, with friends, which are people that generally add to your life. Now it's time to give back and make them smile by sharing that tiring time together.

Also, hydrate strongly prior to that night, and don't be hungry. Don't let anything stupid bring your mood down. And relax and enjoy. You've scheduled that time for you to freely waste. Own it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

It's about fun. You will find people who still like to dance with you, even if you think you are not a pro.

Also it is not about hard skill but about the level of fervency! If you dance with confidence, it will look even better

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Just have fun dancing

I did this sort of thing once at a Halloween party. I was by myself just dancing and it was fun af. Some random dude told me twice that I was the best dancer there, and I got to dance with a really hot girl for 2 seconds.

So follow Kat's advice. Just say fuck it and have fun!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

This should be the top comment. Seriously, quit thinking about it and just fuckin dance.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Just have fun dancing

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Back in my days we just took drugs

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

you should ask a partner "can you teach me how to dance?" if they say yes, you know they have the patience to dance at whatever level you're comfortable with. and it'll be a really good time

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.

  • Assume you are the least experienced dancer of your acquaintance group.
  • Select the second-least experienced dancer of that group. That person will accept because they'll look good by comparison.
  • Have fun just trying out the basics with them and laughing about it.
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Just dance like someone is shooting a revolver at your feet and you will do just fine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

MOVE YOUR BUTT! 💃

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I can't believe no one has given this advice yet: https://piped.video/watch?v=vvmpc83nv4A

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

Molly