Autism

That one 'blindingly obvious' thing is key often for me too. Sometimes it's not only not obvious to other people but it's entirely wrong too.

Ironically, it's often the same thing the other way round: the neurotypical leaves off or implies some context that seems obvious to them and the people they normally communicate with.

The other main thing, from neurodivergent to neurotypical, is (not) implying emotional meaning. (And vice versa, not picking up on it.) You say something and mean it logically, but hidden in your words is emotional meaning - sometimes it's real but you wouldn't even know it yourself; sometimes it's not real just you said things in a way that someone else would if they meant that extra emotion. Communication is about emotion as much as facts, and the listener rightly tries to pick up on emotions, but misunderstands.

My SO frequently includes me in conversations that they've already started in their head, and I have to remind them that I have zero context for what they just said.

I think probably all people dismiss what is obvious to them as not needing to be said, and for good reason: why overburden a conversation with obvious truths. Though given that we're all just apes with a superiority complex, we're probably entirely wrong about what's obvious or true 🙈

I mean it could be but it's important that we don't assume that. I mean I'm just dumb.

Yeah, it is a thing, but beware also the times when you misremember both their words and your own. I, certainly, have been guilty...

At the same time, it may help to remember that people are often listening to, and I presume 'remembering' a sort of semantic meaning of what you said, not the words. Add to that a little mishearing, some assumption, and different expectations between you and them, and that can shift the meaning a lot from what you meant, while to them it seems they just approximately remembered.

yes

yep.

Yes but you picked them in your 'language', not that of the listener. Neuro-typical/divergent communication is a bit like translating across languages. Words by themselves don't always translate directly.

That said, I concede, many people don't listen carefully and jump to conclusions based on what they expect you to say.

I'm just starting to say this openly when overstimulated. I never even recognized it until recently. I have words for this now...! and I'm going to use them and not feel ashamed

Exactly! I want to go home is not an invitation for a discussion on why I should stay. It's my compromise for telling you that I am leaving in a nice way.

I try that on the roads but nobody seems to move out the way for me. I should try one of those flashy lights and wailing noise maybe?

I avoid sooo many topics out of fear that people will not only misunderstand me, but then make permanent judgements of my character and even punish me. Like, I'm not allowed to say that sometimes my dog drives me so insane that I wish I never got her in the moment because that would make me a terrible dog owner and a horrible person. Yeah right! All I'm saying is that I have thought that at times. I haven't beaten or neglected her. I'm not planning on dropping her off at the dog pound. I'm just being honest with a thought I had. A lot of people have even thought that about their own human kids.

When it comes to cis-women, I hold back a lot because they often think I'm trying to hit on them. Apparently, sharing an interest or wanting to hear them talk about their interest is considered flirting to NTs. Meanwhile, I'm just treating them the same way I would like to be treated. It would make my day if someone, regardless of gender, wanted to hear me talk about the Golden Age of Piracy. I would not think they're trying to get in my pants because that's not a romantic or sexy topic, just like hearing about your unhealthy eating habits isn't romantic or sexy, Karen! And asking if you're okay when you're clearly distraught doesn't mean I want to sleep with you either. I'm only trying to be nice.

Moi aussi! Des hommes ne comprends pas mes mots?

I blame the public schools. They condition kids to drift through life without thinking or paying attention to anything

I do. I've conveyed the same information in so many different fucking ways and they still don't get it.

Then one of them finally figures it out and explains it to everyone else the exact same way I first explained it and now they all get it.

I just fuckin avoid people now🤷‍♂️

Stereotyping and otherising "normals" is some next-level tribalism.

Autistic people are more likely to be depressed just because life is harder being autistic. We're often overwhelmed, insulted, bullied, misunderstood, and lonely.