Sleep on her side of the bed. Then donβt tell her what you did.
this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
8 points (56.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43148 readers
1657 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
This is some next-level chaos.
She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.
And bits of dried pizza cheese.
When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen
When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription
Factorio
He said he only had a weekend though.
Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.
LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...
Don't change your underwear for two days.
Already on it.
I'm proud of you.
"Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing."
We are not the same meme
I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen
Again, Factorio
Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods
Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)
Ugh. I hate it when people have a far easier time than I do finding drugs. Every dealer assumes Iβm a cop
Mushrooms are sold in head shops in Oakland, California. I understand that to be the case in a number of cities. You may be able to make your way to one of them.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Sext her.
Sext her sister
Sext her sister's BIL
If you donβt like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.
Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.
Edit:
bout to get wild
Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter
Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.
I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing
Pee in all the sinks.
What about the sink I poop in?
The shower.
Waffle stomp!
Cleaning that up is gonna be work.
Cocaine feels like a good time.
Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.
You guys are amazing
grind leetcode
Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed
Truest statement.
Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with
In that situation I make myself a half-rack of pork ribs in the slowcooker.
Wife doesn't actually mind this, she just doesn't care for pork ribs herself and I don't feel like making her a separate meal when I'm indulging my inner carnivore.
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next βΊ