this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
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Trans

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General trans community.

Rules:

  1. Follow all blahaj.zone rules

  2. All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.

  3. Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.

Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/

[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

As MTF,
Im learning to lost all my masc advantages (mainly social), but in the meantime, not being nor woman or man

Sometimes im seeing myself as a mirage (Non binary, MTF)

https://jlai.lu/pictrs/image/1fdff2c9-df53-4c0c-aaf1-11b12f2484c3.jpeg?format=webp

But Blahaj exist 🥰

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's a spicy comic there :D I like it :3

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Yeah ? Ive got no crédit for that. Go check the Original post and the comments 😁

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

After consistently passing as a man, I noticed that women that I meet are much more guarded around me than before. I definitely have to make more of an effort to appear "safe" to strangers.

Another thing is that I can get away with previous behaviors more without as much social repercussion. Due to being neurodivergent, I've always been socially unaware of things, never really tried to be polite or say all of the socially acceptable niceties as often as expected. People used to perceive me as "rude" or a "bitch" and now I'm just "blunt" and "get to the point." When I'm not in a talkative mood I used to be "cold" and now I'm just "preoccupied."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Facial hair greatly "softens" or disguises a lot of one's face. I found it greatly helped me be more approachable, which was great at the time when I had to train up new hires as they would actually ask questions

Not an option for everyone sadly, and YMMV depending on the structure of your face (I am blessed/cursed by a somewhat chubby face and relentless hair growth)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

So far. I either get quick glances and a 😮 face but nothing more, OR a really pleasant and gentle interaction.

I'm waiting for more negative encounters as I continue transitioning, but I've noticed that interactions with women feel a lot more natural than before (as long as they're supportive)

Almost as if I'm being "welcomed to the team" in a sense. I feel a bond that I have always felt was missing...

Plus most cishet men ignore my presence now. Which is SOOOOO much better than when I was masc presenting and they would try to joke about how much they hated their wife or something.

The most awkward interactions of my life "mysteriously" vanished! Thanks transphobia! /s

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Because I am largely not passing at the moment, but am obviously transfem, the gap between the way some people treat me seems to have broadened. When I meet a stranger, they will either be extra nice to me, or immediately rude and standoffish. There is much less of an in between lol

With my friends, I have noticed some extra kindness, but I figure that is because they recognize that I am in a vulnerable time of my life and they want to help me along the journey. I have received* a good few makeup and clothing gifts, been p neat in that regard

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Because I am largely not passing at the moment

Can't ignore that pseudo after that you shared your makeup 😂

Extra nice or rude? gratzzz you are a woman ! No between or much less ? You really passing !

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That is very kind haha. In all fairness, this is the best of like 20 pictures, but I get what you mean. I should probably be less critical of myself in that regard. Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

And u shared your 1 on 20 :-)

And other cis woman would have do the same. Just as like you :-)

Yes be kind with yourself, clearly you deserve 😊😊

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I've noticed that people who have any reaction to me are either oddly nice (which absolutely baffles me because I have no idea how to interact with humans generally 😵‍💫 😅 ) or just straight-up hate me. Like, someone compliments my dress, another person just walks up and starts touching me, and then some guy starts looking me up and down with a grossed-out look like some leavings from the local zoo had just stood up and gone shopping. Fortunately, I have the human awareness(/careness maybe) of any other kittycat so I rarely notice the glares 😅

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Same! It is so weird how people just have stronger reactions to us in general, some good and some bad. I definitely relate to recieving that disgusted glare, glad it isn't getting you down! ☺️

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

One thing I found funny was at work I would make a suggestion on how something should be done, pre transition, coworkers would listen and take my advice into consideration. After transition they were a lot less receptive to the exact same advice. I definitely had that oh shit moment to myself thinking, oh, ok this is what women are talking about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I definitely notice the same thing socially, but the opposite for me. Seems like people take me more seriously than they used to.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I know I get overtalked a lot more now...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm enby and I've been on HRT for just over 7 months, but I'm keeping a lot of my masc presentation (such as my villainous moustache~) just with a touch of femme in my nail polish, eyeliner, and pixie-cut hair.

Still, there's definitely been a change in how I'm percieved. In addition to the casual indifference of passers-by, I'm starting to get vaguely confused or perplexed glances. This has been wonderful, and I can't wait to start getting "they"'d by well-meaning folks too busy to ask my pronouns first. =D

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Definitely can relate to the perplexed glances and general confusion from other people. When I was in the "in-between" stage of my transition, people would stare at me often. Whenever I met someone, I could always tell that "calculating...must find gender" from people looking me up and down.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I am no longer able to tell if people are being friendly or not. I am not sure what it is or why.

When I presented male I for the most part just expected a general level of friendliness and I was mostly calm in interactions with strangers. I didn't really have a constant fear or paranoia associated with interaction.

Now presenting as a trans woman I feel im like hypervigilant and fundamentally can not parse if people are being friendly or hostile towards me. People are like a shifting cypher of mystery where I am constantly over analyzing what people are saying or doing. NGL it might be a trauma response not sure.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Transfem enby:

Definitely notice some of the men I’d hung around as friends started being more dismissive of me when interacting as though they clearly thought less of me. Not sure the ratio of typical misogyny to transphobia.

The weird one was actually noticing coworkers starting to express some protective, almost herding like behavior. Was simultaneously endearing to recognize they still see me as part of the group but also incredibly patronizing.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I get a lot more glares from tomato red old men and women, and the occasional guy not-so-subtly checking me out. Sometimes a jackass will go out of their way to "sir" me because they think its funny. In general though, most everyone else is kind and accepting, and I feel like people are less guarded around me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

One thing I did notice when I was a little earlier in my transition was a feeling that even supposed allies don't want to see you in the "in between" stage of transitioning. They want to either see you before you've started transitioning, or when you're at the point you at least sort of pass. I isolated myself for years because of that vibe, and I regret it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Reading the comments and I’m really glad it’s not just me who’s experiencing the fact that my interactions with people either seem to now be really lovely or hateful. Fortunately, even in the UK, it seems most people are supportive which brings me great euphoria Even with the negative encounters it’s not been uncommon for a supportive stranger to come to my aid.

One interesting thing I’ve noticed is the gender ratio of my closest friends has over time shifted from mostly cishet guys to mostly women and enbies.