Killing Nazis

Good thing I don’t have to worry about that ever happening IRL…

Being an ex yakuza

Killing hundreds of zombies, skeletons, creepers, and Illagers, not so I can save the villagers they wrongly imprisoned, but so I can get that one specific gilded sword.

Shooting myself in the head with a very realistic looking toy gun-- repeatedly (?)

Trying to commit a hostile takeover by having my company's employees fistfight their company's employees in the town square.

Making my government into an expansionist empire and leading its armies with a bit too much detail.

For apprehending or killing terrorists, and defusing their bombs in a hospital terror attack

Legend of Zelda, maybe somebody finally had enough of me smashing all their pots and cutting all their grass. I don't think those monsters are calling the cops for all the murder, they always seem to pop right back anyway.

removing the stairs on the pool, and let my sims cant get ou tof the pool till they die (the sims)

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.

Forging a committed relationship with Shadowheart.

Violation of aviation laws, murder, unlicenced posession of high explosives, and initiation of murderous chicken attacks. (TOTK)

Destroying a planet solely to exterminate an invasive species in order to thwart the plans of a space pirate organization who were planning on leveraging the powers of said invasive species for nefarious purposes.

At least I saved the animals.

Spreading Managed Democracy, whether they want it or not!

I am getting called a hero! Other than that orbital strike I called down on my entire squad….

Polluting and extracting every raw resource for my own benefit, mindlessly destroying the native alien population as they attempt to stop my destruction of their land.

not slaying the princess I guess.

Graveyard Keeper.

I don't even know. An absurd amount of mishandling and experimenting on corpses.

brutal organ harvesting using exclusively medicinal plants, followed by cannibalism

Nothing because no one's alive anymore - gtfo Animal abuse and slavery - Palworld

Playing cards...? It was solitaire 😅

mass killing of scribble spiders? idk

Sonic Adventure

• property damage
• animal abduction
• petty theft
• fishing without a license
• treasure hunting without a license.

Breaking and entering, vandalism (not my fault, ghosts are dicks), and possibly framed for murder (again, ghosts are dicks).

Rimworld players:

I don't know... Majonging?

Digging out of the holy mountain. Not much of an arrest tho, Steve has orders to shoot on sight

Obliterating the natural resources of a small island for a couple of golden walnuts

Blackmail. You can have your "shorts" back after I win first place at the town fair.

Aggressively realistic HEMA reenactments

Guilty of killing a prince that had become to become a giant toad due to a curse.

(Witcher 3)

Caving a green wyvern skull in with my big hammer that I made of the bones and flesh of another

Aiding a cartel in smuggling illicit goods

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

reckless driving

Assault, battery, torture, stalking, breaking & entering, trespassing, destruction of property, illegal search & seizure, tampering with evidence, aiding & abetting, reckless driving, speeding, operation of an unlicensed vehicle, unlawful interception, child endangerment, unlawful imprisonment, conspiracy, and, of course, vigilantism

But absolutely zero murder

Repeatedly murdering the same small group of heroic individuals on ritual meat hooks at the direction of an eldritch being

Blasting a bunch of bad guys in Rainbow 6: SMOL…

Do porn games on an old android count?