this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
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I find myself compelled to cast my thoughts into the void of the internet, hoping to hear some echoes back in the form of scathing remarks that capture the absolute vapidity of this horrendous shitshow, this lamentable waste of time, manpower and bandwidth.

Just “wow”, I’m at a loss of words for how bad this movie is. I’ve watched some bad movies, and almost always at least enjoyed a scene, a one liner, a concept, but maaaaaan, it’s so bad you can’t even laugh.

Please, someone, just tear this “film” a new one so that I feel I’m not alone in my sheer hatred of this incohesive collection of not even cutting room floor worthy scenes.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I would like to know who keeps giving Zack Snyder money to make movies. I've left better story lines as stains on the side of a toilet bowl

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He does good action and could just stick with that and it would be awesome, but for some reason (i suspect it started after watchmen) he thinks he's christopher fkn nolan despite the wealth of evidence to the contrary

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

But the action wasn't even good here. Constant cutting makes it impossible to see what's happening on screen and the cgi also did not look good in this movie, especially for what the movie cost. And let's not even talk about fight choreography because it's basically non existent. This movie has no redeeming features.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Great visuals. Better plots are written on bathroom stalls.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I thought it was pretty bad too.

Somehow Snyder failed on all of the following fronts of making a movie: bad story (the plot), bad script (the dialogue), bad editing (let's go planet hopping to assemble our merry crew?), bad bad bad special FX, bad overall visual appearance (every scene was clearly a green screen digital stage, the sepia color grading looked horrendous), and poor casting choices for everyone.

Sophia whatshername cannot act unless you call "making one face and delivering every single line with a flat emotionless affectation" acting. The only role she fit into was when she was the knife leg assassin in one of the Kingsmen movies because she had like 3 spoken lines in that entire film.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I seem to remember Sofia doing fine in Star Trek Beyond.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

She absolutely was fine in STBeyond. Zach Snyder can't direct his actors and has no idea how to tell a story.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

bad overall visual appearance (every scene was clearly a green screen digital stage, the sepia color grading looked horrendous)

This is deliberate and I don't understand how anyone thinks it looks good. It's the same as the recent zombie movie he made.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

I think he did a great job... Shifting the overton window on film so much that Sucker Punch is now only seen as "not great".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

JRPGs have deeper characters than this movie

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Pornos have deeper characters than this movie

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Hahahh, exactly the kind of response I was looking for!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

The premise, trailer, hype all seemed pretty cool. And it's Snyder so we know it's going to suck. So somehow we watch the whole thing to the end, forgiving the sucky stuff because we knew it was coming. What kind of brain hack is this?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

People forget that, yeah, Snyder made 300, but he also made Sucker Punch.

[–] dlhextall 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

And what was his last good movie?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Weirdly? The Justice League Snyder Cut. 72% on Rotten Tomatoes.

[–] dlhextall 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And I have a hard time believing this is actually good, rather than just release hype.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

72% on Rotten Tomatoes, I watched it, it was decent.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ohhh, I hated Sucker Punch back then

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I still do, but I used to too. ;)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

it’s no longer a mystery why Disney turned down Snyder’s pitch for a Star Wars movie, if that ever even happened and wasn’t just a story fabricated to drum up hype.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I'm going to be the weird one and say that I quite enjoyed it. However, I'm waiting for the longer, more violent cut releasing later this year. The film clearly should have more blood and there definitely needs to be more characterisation.

It feels like Netflix wanted a shorter, more sanitised version to speak to a larger audience. Netflix does Star Wars (or A Bug's Life 😄).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Watching that movie is like having liquid dog shit blasted directly into your eyes

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

From the source or via pump?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This movie honestly started as a Star Wars script. And if made in that universe, it would have made the sequel trilogy look good in comparison. Now it's like Netflix ordered a new Star Wars movie from Wish.com.

[–] mindbleach 2 points 9 months ago

And if made in that universe, it would have made the sequel trilogy look good in comparison.

Damnation through faint praise.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I turned it off after she gave the dude "fuck-me" eyes at the barn dance three minutes in.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm glad I didn't really get excited. The only thing that I was interested in was the robit (Jimmy) but I hear he didn't have much screen time. Maybe there's more that people haven't uploaded to YT, but of the 3 scenes I've seen one of them he just runs in+pulls a trigger+runs back out. EDIT: For what it's worth that is actually a payoff moment

I sort of hoped he'd be a cyborg and they'd go into that (or robot autonomy), but that's definitely too much to ask when they can't even do the basic shallow stuff right.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This video does a good job of tearing Rebel Moon a new one. It's a bit on the long side though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's longer than the movie

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

He's got a lot to say.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 9 months ago

Here's the short version: Auralnauts present Zack Snyder's Star Wars.

It contains exactly as much of Rebel Moon as it needs to. None.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think there are two YouTube vids that are worthwhile:

Critical Drinker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDHgA5e2du8

Pitch Meeting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzczijDtnFY

I must admit, I saw the videos before watching the movie. Based on the content of the videos, decided I could skip watching the movie. I imagine PipedBot will be along shortly with the other links.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

As always, that Pitch Meeting hits every major point perfectly. I fell asleep trying to get through this movie twice.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I thought it was ok. Maybe you’re just too picky.

It’s not meant to be Solaris.