this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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563
I LOVE jesus (r.nf)
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago

I'm not religious in any sense of the word, but if Jesus Christ is telling me to go to the casino, we're going to the fucking casino!

Loaves and fishes bitches!

[–] can 31 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Oh these are classic

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Jesus in the passenger seat "Recalculating"

Jesus it's been 5 miles we're gonna miss our turn it's here somewhere. "LOL recalculating"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Having Jesus riding shotgun would be a windy ride. He never closes the door.....born in a barn.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I wonder if Jesus can drive on water

[–] can 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Just like Thom Yorke

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

A manger and a barn are not the same thing lol

[–] Aurenkin 8 points 9 months ago

Jesus we can't follow that route, it goes over water! Might as well use Apple Maps...

Jesus: Well that's your fault for asking for walking directions!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I’m not driving anywhere with a 2000 year old schizophrenic carpenter.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Well let’s see how hot his hand is at the craps table before we judge anyone too harshly.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm actually more surprised that John 14:6 talks about GPS.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

It doesn't:

^5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
^6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I like the persistency of the lol without a comma beforehand. Very pushy Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Yeah and my toaster is Zeus.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I like how they always have a bible verse but just the numbers. Like I'm supposed to know what the fuck it says. Cunts....

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

Didn't ask. Don't care.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

I like how they always have a bible verse but just the numbers. Like I'm supposed to know what the fuck it says. Cunts....

This you? Seems like you do want to know that verse

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Well that worked well for the Reverend Jamison in The Leftovers.... That was one hell of a run on the casino, well until he got hit in the head that's it, but he kept the money.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Satan take the wheel

[–] Sabre363 1 points 9 months ago

Is Jesus is the og self driving car?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Seth should have gotten the Cheyanne