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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/djieoa on 2024-01-23 19:03:24+00:00.
Last night I tried to initiate sex with my (22f) boyfriend (27m), to which I was turned down. He had been turning down my advances for the last few days, so I asked whats up. He said he wants to wait until we get married to have sex. He’s religious, and he says it’s the best thing for us since we don’t want kids yet, so he doesn’t even want to risk it.
Here’s the part I’m baffled by… we’ve been having sex on a regular basis over the past 2 years. I asked him why he suddenly wants to stop if we’ve been having sex already, and he gives the same answers. “It’s wrong before marriage” and “we’re just doing it because it feels good” and “sex is a special moment between husband and wife”. And “Were not ready for kids, we shouldn’t even risk it”. He’s not entirely wrong, but I don’t want to wait until marriage. Where do I go from here?
Edit: forgot to mention he says if we’re really meant to be then I wouldn’t break up with him JUST because of not having sex until marriage.
❗️EDIT 2: we just had a talk about this, and his reasons are entirely religious based. Because God says it’s wrong to have sex before marriage. I tried to compromise with him and asked if we could at least do oral or masturbate together and it was still a hard no. He said I can masturbate, but when I’m alone. I’m not okay with this. Besides this, he’s a great guy and I really don’t want to break up, but this is a big deal to me. And I really don’t want to get married any time soon.
TL;DR - last night my boyfriend of 2 years turned down sex and said he wants to wait until marriage. We’ve been having sex regularly for our entire relationship. I’m not cool with waiting especially when we’ve been doing it regularly. How do I move forward from here?