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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/excalling_ on 2024-01-21 18:23:34+00:00.
My boyfriend(27M) and I (26F) started seeing each other in October, made it official in November and then very quickly seemed to live together… it just kind of happened. He spent almost every night with me, so then he gradually moved clothes in, then he’d be there in evenings when I got home from work. It was fast, I was a little freaked out, but it was happening naturally and it seemed healthy enough. No one was controlling how the other spent their time, I often encouraged him to stay with his mother or go see his friends.
For the past 3 weeks I knew something was wrong. He was acting differently but assured me we were fine. Finally, this past Thursday I told him I knew something was wrong and to tell me, because he had avoided me for 2 days at that point.
He said he just wants to take a step back, go back to dating and having our own space. I think it’s the proper thing to do as well, but I can’t help but feel heart broken. He says it’s not a break, that isn’t what he wants. He just feels like we’ve been neglecting others in our lives by spending so much time together. Now I have to go back to dating this man who has terrible texting habits, and I’m going to always wonder if I ask him to hang out 2 nights in a row if that’ll be taking up too much of his time.
Again, I know this is for the best but I can’t help but feel heartbroken and not chosen. How does one navigate this and make it work?
TL;DR my boyfriend wants to go back to just dating and not living together. I feel like I’m getting more hurt by this than he is and I don’t know how to navigate it.