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In a heartbeat (lemmy.world)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/whitepeopletwitter

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 7 months ago (2 children)

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago

Hot damn.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Where I have to signups for that?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago

Suddenly the dog's balls are back and the room is filled with bitches and biscuits.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

me: [petting my dog] hey buddy you've got two wishes

dog: I wanna go to the lake!

me: but that's what we do every after- no, wait!

genie: granted!

me at lake 45 mins ahead of schedule: buddy, you got to make this count. think about it fir-

dog: I want my other master here

wife: [appears] huh? wtf, I was just finishing up and going to head to you guys, why are we at the lake early?

[–] DudeImMacGyver 31 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

"I wish for death to all cats and that literally the entire universe was bacon." -Dog

"No! Not like that!" -Owner if they weren't now bacon

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Aww... :'(

My lil old lady would probably wish 1) to be young again and then 2) for me to throw the squeaky ball

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Beef. Cheese.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

"Sausage!... squirrel!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

The genie should grant the guy two more wished for this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

PSA: never do this with a cat