this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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The Chief's federal judiciary's year-end report may as well have been generated by ChatGPT.

For Chief Justice Roberts, the Year-End Report on the Federal Judiciary is no longer a serious assessment of the state of the federal courts as much as it’s a taxpayer-funded blog post for him to express his disdain for the American people.

You might suspect that the design of an annual report of the federal judiciary would involve providing the American people with some sense that the Chief Justice of the United States grasps the issues facing the courts and, ideally, has some sort of plan for addressing them. After all, that’s the whole point of any annual report: to provide stakeholders with a sense of the successes and challenges facing an entity. It’s why a corporate 10-K can’t just decline to mention that the CEO is now wanted by Interpol.

While the federal judiciary in 2023 found itself beset by ethical scandals from top to bottom, jurists abandoning any sense of professionalism and decorum, a forum shopping crisis spawned by the lack of reform to the nationwide injunction procedure, and a criminal defendant openly attacking the judicial process and inspiring violent threats against federal judges, John Roberts addressed… none of these.

top 26 comments
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[–] [email protected] 93 points 10 months ago (2 children)

As 2023 draws to a close with breathless predictions about the future of Artificial Intelligence, some may wonder whether judges are about to become obsolete.

Jesus Fucking Christ. He's worried about job security because of robots? Keep going the way SCOTUS is going and he should be worried about job security because of an angry mob.

You know who should be worried about job security because of automation? Not judges. A lot of people, but not judges.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Doctors, lawyers, and judges are positions I cannot wait for (properly functioning) AI to fill.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't know that I would want to completely remove the element from any of those jobs, especially doctor. An AI doesn't really understand what pain is. But I would be in favor of a hybrid AI/human job for any of those.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

This is literally a list of jobs that should always have the human element (well maybe not doctors).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

To be fair, though, I think even Bing AI would be a better judge than he is.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The public has contempt for John Roberts as well. It's mutual. He'll get his karma.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

I'm reasonably confident that karma is in history books after he dies. Until then, he's likely Chief Justice over a court packed with people agreeing with him.

Especially if this next election goes a certain way.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If by "karma" you mean continuing to be relatively popular (because he's not really in the news), being able to enrich himself with impunity and continuing to have one of the biggest life-long power trips possible, then sure. He's going to go down in history as a momentous judge without huge controversies simply because his shit isn't the rankest in his court. He'll mostly be a footnote during this period.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

The public is more aware than ever of judicial corruption. He'll be remembered the same as the rest of the exploiting class, of today and the robber barons a hundred years ago. The Roberts court will be synonymous with constitutional failure, proof of the failure of common law to self regulate

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

Time and time again I have to question, why do these people deserve cush lives, multiple houses, and I don't even derserve one house? This chucklefuck is just collecting a tax payer check and fucking off. I'd be fired if I delivered a report that spoke of nothing important.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago

~~The Supreme Court Of The United States~~ MAGA Court For Fascists

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

“At least at present, studies show a persistent public perception of a “human-AI fairness gap,” reflecting the view that human adjudications, for all of their flaws, are fairer than whatever the machine spits out.” I am appalled by how blithe this reads.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

But it's nice that he devoted valuable paragraphs of his end-of-year report to the history of the typewriter.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

Holy shit, I thought you were joking. You were not.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Here Roberts, I had chat gpt generate a better statement for you:

Over the past year, the Supreme Court has faced significant criticism for rulings that have stirred controversy and eroded public trust. I must express regret for decisions related to abortion rights, where the Court's stance has been perceived by many as regressive and infringing upon individual freedoms. The impact of these rulings on reproductive rights has been a source of concern and disappointment.

Furthermore, the Court acknowledges the pressing issue of dark money in elections. The lack of stringent regulations has allowed for an influx of undisclosed funds, casting a shadow over the democratic process. We recognize the importance of addressing these concerns to ensure the transparency and fairness of our electoral system.

In addition, there have been allegations of blatantly partisan rulings, devoid of a solid legal foundation, seemingly aimed at frustrating the President's agenda. The perception of judicial decisions being driven by political motives undermines the impartiality that the judiciary should uphold. We understand the frustration and anxiety caused by such actions and pledge to reinforce the Court's commitment to impartiality and adherence to the rule of law.

As Chief Justice, I assure the public that these challenges have not gone unnoticed, and steps are being taken to reevaluate our processes, engage in introspection, and work towards restoring faith in the judiciary. The Court remains dedicated to upholding the principles of justice, ensuring a fair and impartial legal system for all.

Clearly pure fiction, but one can imagine.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

When you're suffering from imposter syndrome or you're wondering if you can challenge yourself to do stuff at the highest levels, remember that John Roberts is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

He's the "smart" conservative and he's dumber than a box of shit.