this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
274 points (96.6% liked)

Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

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[–] funkless_eck 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

as a chunky enjoyer I see no issue here

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Leave your preferences in the opposite sex out of this

[–] funkless_eck -2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

edit: OK nobody liked me being silly

[–] smuuthbrane 14 points 1 year ago

I believe I speak for many when I say HHHUURK

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What a coincidence! Gonna clamnog my wife later tonight.

[–] spazzman6156 5 points 1 year ago

Enjoy the savory chunks!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

During xmas my alter ego emerges like a yule tide butterfly, The Nog Dog. I love egg nog, I just barely have it due to its insane calories. Also, have an upvote, "clamnog" was worth the price of admission!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

The nog dogs would be a great band name

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I love to use eggnog as creamer for my morning coffee. Actually drinking it straight is a nightmare - I can feel my intestines straightening out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

This is an amazing post

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Mmmmmm! We need to nog more things.

[–] cantstopthesignal 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It has the consistency of vomit just like Grandma likes it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It really does read like pavement pizza in a jar...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

InB4 Canada makes it their National holiday cocktail

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Would you like the Montreal- or the Nova Scotia-style clamnog?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This must be a new England thing. I've never heard of it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a New Englander, I'm horrified too. The clam is easy, people slam back raw oysters by the dozen, but the potato chunks? My dad was at a restaurant sometime before the holidays where he stuck a spoon in his chowder and it stood up perfectly straight.

Could be worse though, Manhattan clam chowder has a tomato broth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it good or bad if the spoon stands straight up? I have no frame of reference. Tomato sounds like it would be better than cream, but I'm not big into clams to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

New England clam chowder is thicker than something like chicken noodle soup because it uses milk as the base instead of water, but it's still meant to be a soup. If your spoon sticks into the chowder like you stabbed it into a stick of butter or mashed potatoes, then somebody's gone off the deep end. That bowl was more potato starch than anything else. But what I really meant was that the thought of trying to drink chunks of potato makes me think of spoiled milk. 🤢

As for Manhattan style vs New England, it's one of those things where you like one or the other and you'd divorce your wife if she said she liked the other kind. People are ride or die on both sides of the fence, and I may be biased having grown up in the land of New England chowder where I can harvest my own clams to make my own chowder from scratch, but the thought of throwing clams into what is basically vegetable soup seems crazy to me. New England chowder is meant to be hearty and filling; the kind of thing that you can sit down with after a long winter's day out in the cold and wind that will stick to your ribs and return feeling to your fingers and toes. If I wanted vegetable soup, I'd make vegetable soup and save the clams for something else, like stuffed quahogs or clams casino or something. And as to how it relates to the original photo, trying to chug down what is basically watered down salsa (but with pieces of clam in it) sounds horrible as well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Your passion for clam chowder really makes me wish I liked clams. I think a Chicago analog would be how and where you get your Italian beef sandwiches. Never trust a Chicagoan who eats dry ass beef sandwiches. They probably have 20 year's worth of toenail clippings in a jar next to their collection of belly button lint.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A potent aphrodisiac.