How to keep a man : shittyfoodporn

[-] [email protected] 82 points 6 months ago

The man can't leave if he's shitting his brains out.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago

If you squint it kinda looks like somebody doing that.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Can't unsee

[-] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

🤮

[-] [email protected] 58 points 6 months ago

What the hell did they do to that chicken??? It somehow looks both raw and overcooked at the same time...

[-] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Almost looks like sous vide without any browning and just tossing some pepper on top

Maybe boiled it?

[-] RoquetteQueen 20 points 6 months ago

Looks boiled to me.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Or maybe an instapot/pressure cooker

[-] RoquetteQueen 3 points 6 months ago

Fancy boiled.

(I do love my instant pot though...)

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

There is a sauce on it. Maybe Ranch?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

It looks like legs from one of those whole cooked canned chickens.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I think the pale part on top is a sauce. Took me a minute.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 6 months ago

Chicken has never been my favourite, but I did kind of enjoy it until about 30 seconds ago.

This looks like old person knees.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Now I can't unsee the knees. Thanks.

[-] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago

If they add crayons they might be able to keep a US Marine.

[-] southsamurai 6 points 6 months ago

You know marines aren't allowed crayons.

[+] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It has to be a joke.

But I had a girlfriend like this when I was younger so I think this joke is based in reality!

I was sick so she wanted to make me soup but she didn't know how to cook. She just threw everything in a pot, including chicken pieces, and let it all boil into a mush and then served it to me with an insane amount of fresh parsley.

Bones and all. Cartilage floating. The broth was gray from fat on top.

[+] Maddie 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

A couple of bull testicles and some vomit?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

This is how you keep a man...on the toilet.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Creamed corn and KD is an acceptable meal, although not anything to brag about making.

The real crime is whatever they did to that chicken. I get diarrhea just looking at it.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

A lot of shitty food is often just not plating correctly.

Absolutely creamed corn would look more appealing were it in a bowl. That macaroni could use some garnish and suddenly it'll photograph better.

But that chicken is a nightmare. Nothing is saving that.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Mmm my favorite. Speckled Phlegm and Yellow

[-] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Keep the man away, for sure.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

You poison him so he can't leave?

[+] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Still better than 90% of the foodporn community.

[-] southsamurai 3 points 6 months ago

Got damn! That's the poster for this C/! Like, that, right there is the definition of shitty food pirn

[-] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Why are there down votes?

Is this not shitty enough for you?

You people are hard to please.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

[removed by mod]

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

that chicken was slow roasted over a heated argument

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

away

[+] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

[deleted]

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